Myla what did you do for fathers day Myla: i went to a restaurant Timmy what did you do for fathers day Timmy: i went to a concert Olivia what did you do for fathers day Olivia: talked to him through an ouija board
Me: I got kicked out of the library the other day.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because I put the women rights book in the fiction section.
the poop on the bus goes poopoopoopoo AHHHHH! day long
Dora- where do we go next Kids at home- Area 51 Meanwhile Dora- let’s go deliver the evidence to President Biden 1 day later Dora - WE DID IT HORAY
Hello Everyone, have a great day and be positive!
Heres a Song That Describes My Old Life-By-watersharky Productions- My buddies think I'm on the lake Boss thinks I've been sick for days And mama's probably on her way 'Cause I ain't picked up the phone I've been a million places But they're all up in my head Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left I've been gone, I've been gone I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane Sadder than a country song Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way Ever since you moved on, I've been gone Took a trip down memory lane Checked into hotel heartbreak Passed rock bottom on the way Without leaving my living room I've been a million places But they're all up in my head Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left I've been gone, I've been gone I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane Sadder than a country song Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way Ever since you moved on, I've been gone Yeah I've been gone All the clothes are on the floor All the mail's by the door All the whiskey bottles in my bed All the dishes in the sink All the gas is in the tank All the neighbors probably think I'm dead I've been gone, I've been gone I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane Sadder than a country song Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way Ever since you moved on, I've been gone (ooh, ooh) I've been gone (ooh, ooh) Gone
So I was on a discord call the other day and one of my friends American buddies joined and we had a conversation.
Until they say: when did pounds change to quid.
And I said: 'they're the exact same thing.'
Then they said:
"but when did it happen?"
So I said:
"when did school change to shooting range?"
I saw an orphan crying the other day, so I ask, "where are your parents?" God, I love working at an orphanage:)
Your walking one day and a little kid about 5-6 years old comes up to you asking, "What's a condom"? You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell to them.
Why was Michael Jackson, kicked out of boy scouts? He was up to a pack a day!!
Guy: Hi, how was your day today. Woman: Good! Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant* Guy: How many months pregnant are you? Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also I’m not pregnant.
Me: Sorry I couldn’t make it to school yesterday, I had an appointment. Teacher: What kind of appointment?? Me: I had an appointment with a cut day😈😈😈
True story
Guys if you saw a post from someone is pretending to be me don't listen to them. I'm just going to be out for 3 days. or maybe for a mounth break. There are a lot fakers.
Hi guys. I'm going to be out for 3 days. Also quote for the day and advice. Quote. (Made by me) Don't look back at tomorrow just look forward today. there are new thoughts, strength, and ideas.
Advice. Sometimes ppl have opions and those opions are probley what u don't like but don't bring negitvity on them just because of what there saying. If you chose you probley say (I don't understand that statement but it does sound good." This is not a drama site it a joking site.
P.S. No hating in these comments.
I was driving when I saw a kid chasing after a ball but I didn’t have enough time to slow down. Then I pulled over and the dad yelled “What the fuck did you do” I looked into the street and saw the ball completely deflated and the kid crying “Now I gotta hear him bitch and moan all day” he continues
The other day I commented a dark humor joke on a post about a guy who lost his best friend. The joke was “I was so drunk last night I threw a mushroom at a midget and said ‘grow mario grow’ He commented “What the hell is wrong with you”and I said “IKR I really gotta work on my alcoholic issues.” He then replied “This is a post about my dead best friend get the fuck off my feed I don’t even know you.” And so I said “Well then get to know me, I could become your new best friend!”
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Bc they miss Mother’s Day and Fathers day
There were 30 high school seniors taking finals, and once they finished, the teacher, Mrs Jones walked up and down the classroom to collect the tests, and asked "so, are you guys ready for college?" And Brian answered "no way. School is just a waste of time, every day taking *seven cruel hours of our lives*." Angela replied "never! Like Brian said, school is just a waste of time, and the next level is surely not worth paying $50,000 for. Besides, math class is *mental abuse to humans*!" And Jack said "school has been a waste of so much time I'll never get back, and after these *finals* I've realized...*fuck, I never actually learned shit*!"
One day I was walking along the street and I found some caution tape... Just sitting there torn up... Beat up and you could barely unravel it anymore cause I would just burst into shreds... It kinda reminded me of what happened to my sisters killer... They still haven’t found him yet... I’m really good at hide and seek!
I am only here because me no like blues clues lgbtq episode as I don’t believe in that. If you do ok. And it shouldn’t be a month, the month should be for all of the war veterans, it should be a day for pride. Companies only use this month for money it’s exploitation because they don’t truly support unlike me in which I don’t support it
