Custody jokes

In the morning, I become a cereal killer. Stepped on a corn flake.

Then there was the run-in with a pair of orphaned Rice Krispies. Snap. Crackle. No pop.

I've been taken into custody as a cereal offender and am about to be put on trial in Food Court. I fully expect them to sentence me to Life.

Why can't an orphan ever be a criminal?

Because he isn't wanted.

A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.

Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"

Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."

Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."

Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.

Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"

The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"

What is the difference between an adopted kid and an orphan?

If you're adopted, you're actually wanted.

Why can't an orphan be gay?

Because they have no one to call "daddy."

I kidnapped an orphan. What are they going to do? Cry for mom?

Why can’t orphans have sex?

'Cause they have no one to call daddy!