Crys jokes

I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.

Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.

I saw a kid crying and I asked him where his parents are.

I love my job at the orphanage.

Yo' mama is so ugly, she makes onions cry.

Why did the strawberry cry?

Her mom was in a jam.

Why did the cookie cry?

Because its mom was a wafer too long!

Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money, and he asks the bartender what's up with that jar of money.

Bartender says you gotta do 3 tasks. He takes the shot of Jack, and the customer says, "What are the tasks?" He says, "The 1st one is, well the 1st 1 is, I got about a 12' gator in the back that's got a bad tooth, and you gotta pull it." He says, "All right, what's the 2nd 1?" He said, "I got a big old girl upstairs that ain't had no loving in a long time, you gotta make her smile." He takes another shot of Jack. He said, "All right, what's the 3rd 1?" He said, "You see that horse outside, you gotta make him laugh and cry."

Guy goes upstairs, goes out back, comes out to the front, comes back in. The other customer said, "Give him the jar." The guy says, "I took care of that lady's tooth, and I made that alligator smile."

"Well how'd you make the horse laugh?" he said. "Easy, I told him I had a bigger deck then him."

Bartender says, "How did you make him cry?" He said, "Easy, I showed him."

I saw a kid crying today. I asked him where his parents were.

I love working at an orphanage.

I once saw an orphan... I decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"

They didn't reply.

I kept asking them. They started crying. I started laughing. They ran away...

Women be like men cause wars, [but] forget men fight those wars while they fake cry.

When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."

*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵

Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."

I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were.

Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

Granny says don't worry, the cries of pain are only my ex-husband's.

My sis said only garlic and onions can make you cry.

So I threw an orange at her.

What is the difference between onions and babies?

I cry when I cut onions.

Bible Verse of The Day - For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children.

—Romans 8:15-16

In a proud, boastful voice, Gemma told the old Chinese woman who was babysitting her that onions were the only food that could make you cry. The woman nodded and said that was true enough.

They continued eating for a while. "This is really good!" the little girl exclaimed. "What's this meat?"

The old lady replied with: "Well, there was a brown dog in your yard that wouldn't stop yapping."

What’s pink, nine inches, and makes my wife cry when I shove it down her throat?

Her Miscarriage.

Imagine when you are about to cry at the funeral, then your friend's phone rings.

Then he says, "I'll call you back, I'm still at the die."

How do you get a baby to stop crying?

Simple... you staple its mouth shut.