Cry jokes

Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a baby?

A: The pizza does not scream when you put it in the oven.

What is 6" long, bright red, and your wife cries when you feed it to her?

Her miscarriage.

What’s red, nine inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry every time she sees it?

Her abortion.

Toilet paper cried across the road.

Robin asks Batman what he is getting his parents for Christmas. Batman gets mad, slaps Robin, and runs off crying.

Now you know why Batman Beyond was born when Bruce died. cause of death: suicide

A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and asked him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I’m the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.” “I still don’t get it,” responded Little Johnny. “Why don’t you sleep on it then? Maybe you’ll understand it better,” said the dad. “Okay then...good night,” said Little Johnny and went off to bed.

In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother’s crying. He went to his baby brother’s crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent’s room to get help. When he got to his parent’s bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn’t there. So he went to the maid’s room. When he looked through the maid’s room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, “OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!”

Why did Johnny cry?

He was molested by his sister. Johnny enjoyed it, though.

Teacher: We have a new student today class, come introduce yourself.

Student: My name is Buttitches.

Teacher: Please tell us your real name.

Student: Buttitches.

Teacher: I’m calling the police.

Police: Son, please tell me your real name or I’m going to shoot you.

Student: Buttitches.

Police: *shoots gun.*

A few days later, the police go to the funeral and sits behind the mom. While crying, the mom says, "My Buttitches!" The police say, "We’ll scratch it, lady."

I am going to scream, this is a cry for help.

A man walks into a forest and sees a girl crying. He asks her, "What is wrong?"

She replies, "I lost my family, my friends, and my home."

The man then unties his pants and says, "Then young lady, your day is about to get worse!"

I love working with animals, especially when I get to hear their cries of help.

I was chopping onions with my brothers, so my little sisters cried. Onions was a good dog.

How do you make a disabled person cry?

Let's go play tag!

A bully told an orphan to cry to his parents, so he did.

His adoptive parents were very supportive about the situation, and everything was settled. He died in an accident a day later.

An Asian walked up to another Asian that was crying.

He asked, "Is somting wong?"

The other guy says, "I was i a noh paking zon."

These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.

As ruler of a kingdom, I wanted a knight. Duke Leo Pessi IV offered himself but wanted a wife in return. I offered my beautiful daughter to him. However, he slapped her and proceeded to wreck my castle. All this whilst crying “I don’t want princess, I want farmer!”

DAMN YOU PESSI!

I was fucking this girl, and I started to make her cry.

She mumbled things and squirmed, but I couldn't hear her through the gag I put in her mouth.

Hi guys, jokes for sister.

So I was listening to a song about "I hate you, are annoying, sister. I'm small and I'm smart," and when I showed it to her, she killed me, and later I was dancing and crying.

Imagine being an orphan. *kid beside me crying*