COVID-19 jokes
Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!
Why is 2020 the worst year? Because COVID-19!
What do 9/11 and COVID-19 have in common?
I couldn't give a fuck about either.
What's the best thing about Covid-19? It gets into any kid.
Snow White and the six Dwarfs, Sneezy was caught by covid-19 quarantine!
I hate school
Should I buy COVID-19 or wait until COVID-20 comes out?
Everybody was kung flu dying.
It traveled as fast as lightning.
2020 was expert timing.
In fact, it was a little bit frightening.
I didn't know that COVID-19 was a thing until I saw your eyebrows and your hairline social distancing.
COVID-19. IN YOUR FACE! HAHA!
Yo mama so fat they faked COVID-19 just to put a mask on her.
COVID-19 is like pasta.
Asians invented it, Italians spread it.
Are you corona? Cuz it’s hard to breathe around you ;)
A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?"
Me in 2078 when the COVID-19 delta alpha theta beta cya layta alligayta nlgga chungus sussy deef clussy sussy bussy cunnybrap variant comes out and I need to stay in lockdown for another 2 years with my new mandated virus stopper buttplug 9000.
Yo mama so stupid she studied for a COVID-19 test.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
Question: How was Covid-19 born?
Answer: Someone fucked Batman! 😂
I hate wearing a mask in public.
As the coronavirus pandemic strengthens...
Trump - "Quick, inject yourselves with bleach!"
Also Trump - "I order everyone in America to wear a face mask except for me!"
For all the people with Covid-19, I just want to say... Stay positive.