Couch Jokes

What’s a cow’s favorite piece of furniture? The cowch ( couch)

Some moving men had just begun their days work. The first thing they brought into the house was a huge couch. The owner came in and asked how everything was going. They replied, "Sofa so good."

Idk why my blind kid is crying. but I think it could be the tacks I put on the couch.

Why does everyone like couch jokes?

Because they are sofa-nny (so funny)

What is a old lady's favorite exercise

Trying to get up form the soft couch

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

Because he was sans and to lazy to get his butt off the couch.

Why couldn't the button get off the couch? Because his butt weighed a ton! (butt-ton)

What do you call a fat downie A couch potato

Q. When is your grandfather‘s bedtime? A. Three hours After he falls asleep on the couch.

i want a bigger couch why your going to be in the kitchen most the time any way

There are three men walking down the road and they come across a farm that is for sale. The three men look at each other and put all their money together to buy the farm. On that farm there is a cow a monkey and a bunch of cow food. The men are out of money and the farm is going out of business. One of the men's sees that there is a contest for the biggest cow in the county. They entered the contest but it's so thin. Every time they tried to feed the cattle it would poop and lose weight again, so one of them in suggested that they put a cork up the cows behind. The first guy says okay then go put a cork there. I don't want to do it you do it no you do it. The third guy says let's just get the monkey to do it. And the monkey puts the cork in the couch behind. They win the biggest cow contest and get the money they need to save the farm. The second guy realizes that they need to take the cork out of cow. Guys we need to take the cork out of the cow he says. Well I'm not going to do it you do it, no you do it. The third guy says let's just get the monkey to do it again. So the monkey uncorks a cow. And there was a huge explosion.... a few days later the three men wake up in the hospital. The doctor walks up to the first man what happened he asks the first man replies all I remember is that a horrible sound. The doctor walks up to the second man and asks what happened. All I remember is that horrible smell.... The doctor walks up to the third man and again ask the same question. The third man looks at him and says all I remember is that poor poor monkey trying to put the cork back in.