Cos jokes

As a son, I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him and she doesn’t want to be with him anymore, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny.

Then I told my friend’s girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out and wanted to confront me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happened. Then my mom said the same thing happened to me. I came home one day, I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job. I asked what’s going on. My friend told me, "Your mom is my new girlfriend," and my mom said, "This is the penis of my dreams."

Are you the Lusitania 'cause I wanna fire a torpedo into you?

If sex before marriage is a sin, is sex after marriage cos or tan?

Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.

T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎

What’s an orphan’s favorite phone? An iPhone 14 'cause it doesn’t have a home button.

Are you feeling down? Because I wanna feel you up.

When I aim this trigger, it all goes red.

Do you have a bounty 'cause you got a "M" on your head?

How does a mathematician get tan?

sin/cos.

Why is Ronnie Anne like Lincoln? Because he is a softy about everything.

You know how 7 8 9? Why was ten scared? 'Cos he was in the middle of 9/11.

I’ll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I’m a baker’s man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I’ll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you’re now worthless to me!

Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock.

He finally got up there, but a bird stole his co-.

Why doesn't Batman need Robin as a wingman?

Because he has no problem robbin' your girl.

True Story

A CO was receiving inmates as they're being recalled from their assigned jobs to prepare for count. An inmate that had passed the officer returned bleeding through his trousers from his crotch. The inmate had an argument with his lover who had told him that he wasn't enough woman for him. As the inmate was bleeding he was crying out, "He doesn't love me anymore!"

The officer called for medical assistance and went into the assigned cell. He found the severed penis. He fished it out of the toilet and placed it in a plastic bag with ice. He claimed that the medical staff at the hospital could reattach it. He took a ribbing from his fellow officers, because most would've flushed it. I retired and months later saw a fellow officer at the store. As we caught up, I mentioned that the last incident I responded to was 'the severed penis.' The officer tells me that the inmate severed his penis again after it was reattached and flushed it himself.

What happens when Helen Keller picks her nose?

She slurs her words...

Why can't orphans eat a big bag of crisps?

'Cause it's family size...?!

Dear Victims... äh Passengers, we are flying now from Ryadh to New York. Amazing Building... äh Amazing City. There's online, but 2000 there were two Towers... äh Restaurants. We hijack the plane... äh Hi Jack. Jack is my co-pilot, and I said hello. Don‘t scream... History Repea... äh... History never comes back, we are now flying back to the Airport. 💀

Huggy's so fat, Playtime Co. had to make him a monument of fatness.

Sully: Praised after landing in the Hudson River.

Garuda Indonesia 421:

Sully's co-pilot:

I was gonna stop for the cops, but I ran because I was high (the song don't copyright me plz).