Cos jokes

I saw an ISIS video and I got the theme stuck in my head. I was humming it the next day at work when my Arab co-worker said, "soon, my brother."

Look, I'm innocent. I was just going on vacation in NY, but my co-pilot said: "Hit it with your best shot."

Why do emos like yo-yo's? Cos they get strangled by the string.

So I was mining off the coast of Canada and one of my coworkers found gold. I said, "AU, bring that over here!"

Why is Stephen Hawking good at skateboarding? Because he's always on the ramps.

So, I was getting on a plane, and the pilot does his usual speech talking about altitude and what not with the microphone, and he forgets to turn it off, so after the speech I heard him and the co-pilot talking about what they were doing after work, and whatnot.

Then the pilot said he was dying for a blowjob and a coffee, so a stewardess ran to the pilots cabin, and then left about 15 minutes later, and the pilot shouted "Next time don't forget the coffee!"

I never do dark jokes, but when I feel like it, I prefer orphan jokes, 'cause they're the safest option. I mean, what are they gonna do, call their parents?

Just accidentally emailed a porn link to a co-worker... So I emailed ten other co-workers the link and called it a virus.

Yo mama must be a giant, 'cause my Mini P.E.K.K.A. goes berserk on her!

A note for my History Teacher:

Frick frack apple jack tic tac sick sack Mr. Khan and give him a big fat whack 'cause his teaching's got lack, his system I will hack and through the screen I'll give him a smack. I'll throw him on the clothing rack. On his seat I'll put thumb tacks, I'll break his momma's back... and he'll never come back.

How did we know Princess Diana had dandruff?

'Cause the police found her Head and Shoulders on the dash.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Interrupting Cow.

Interrupting Co- MOO!

Why was Santa happy?

'Cause he has hoes.

Why is Ronnie Anne in love with Lincoln? Because he has a fat nugen.

Top 10 Cos:

1. Disco 2. Flamenco 3. Fresco 4. Fiasco 5. Monaco 6. Tobacco 7. Bronco 8. Morocco 9. UNESCO 10. Taco

Pexico? Not top 1000 in my honest book.

Quiet kid reaches down and class starts running.

Quiet kid: What's wrong? Pulling out my...

Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't hit home runs.

Is that ass a water barrier 'cause dam[n]?

Was threatened with legal action off my postman this morning!! I was stood havin a smoke when he asked if my dog bites, I said no. Halfway down my path the dog jumped up and bit him on his testicles!! Screaming out in pain he Said I was a lying bitch cos I told him my dog didnt bite!! Told him mine doesnt!! that wasnt my dog!!!

Are you in the alphabet 'cause I wanna give you the D.