Conversation jokes

So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.

When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"

He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."

What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?

Nothing, you told her twice.

"It's Sunday evening!"

"No. It's Monday eve."

I wonder if any of these people are still alive.

Anyways,

When I arrived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.

God, you’re having a good day?

Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.

When your friends [are] talking about sports:

Jake says, "It was 17.56M people watching [the] basketball championship."🦁

Sam says, "It was 113M people watching the Super Bowl." 😯🐱

Avion says, "It was up from 1.12 billion people watching [the] World Cup." 😶🙀

I told a joke and someone said, "no one asked." Then I said, "no one would care to even ask."

Mom: Hey son, what does "idk" and "idc" mean?

Son: I don’t know and I don’t care.

Mom: Excuse me?

Son: Oh, and by the way, Mom, what’s for dinner?

I don’t know and I don’t care.

What do you tell a depressed person?

Just hang in there!

This is the account of music provider just let you I post for the enjoyment of myself, and to spread different kinds and types of music willingly. I do not respond for the soul reason of ✨people✨ and do not take offense to anything that I post. If you have and issues or just wanna talk contact me i'm only discord so that's all you getting (not being rude) ill put my discord in the comments.

My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*

Me: Yea-

My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*

Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-

When you realize your friend standing next to you is adopted and narrates everything he does.

I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.

OMG, you wanna hear a joke?

Nah, I don't care.

So, I was in the bathroom at school washing up, and this girl walked out of the stall and she was like, "Hey, can you make me laugh? I have been having a pretty bad day." And I was like, "Sure." I was like, "Come here." So she came over to me. I was like, "Girl, look at yourself in the mirror." And she started laughing so hard, and she said, "I'm so ugly."

Hey, do you wanna hear a joke?

No, I'm already looking at one.

You: I have a nice hairline.

Your friend: Since when do you have one?

You: I forgot.

Mom asks, "Who are you talking to?"

The child said, "A mistake."

Hi, how are you?

Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.

Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.

Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.

Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?

Bully: How would you know that?

Me: Because she told me herself.

Bully: How exactly?

Me: She's on the phone right now.

Phone: *High pitched animal noises*

Me: Told you so!