Conversation jokes

"Are you taco to me? I nacho friend."

Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"

My friend had a drink called Quick Start, so I said, "That's a quick start to the morning!"

What did the basketball say to the Frisbee... "No balls."

A son walks up to his dad and says, "Dad! I just had sex for the first time."

The dad goes, "Great! Wanna sit down and talk about it?"

The son says, "I can't sit right now, my butt is very sore."

A Nacho has a problem going on, and the Taco says to the Nacho, "Wanna taco 'bout it?"

And the Nacho says to the Taco, "It's nacho problem!"

A guy and a woman are walking into a forest. The woman says she is lonely. The guy then says, "Don't worry, there will be a third person in a little while."

What does a glass of water ask a pond?

"Water you doing?"

What does the pond answer?

"Pondering life."

What did the drunk woman say to the man after leaving the bar?

"Alcohol, you later!"

Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?

Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.

Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?

My friend texted me and asked me, "Hey. What's your favorite emoji?"

I said, "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬"

She said, "Why?"

I said, "'Cause it's your twin."

Dad: 🦆

Kid: ?

Dad: 🦆🦆

Kid: Huh?

Dad: Ur too late...

Kid: WHAT!

Dad: .... GOOSE!

BOB: Wanna know a joke?

LILLY: What? Your hat?

BOB: No, my life :'(

The past, the present, and the future were having an argument. It was tense.

I was talking to this absolutely gorgeous woman, and I asked her, “What do you do?” And she said, “I’m a brain surgeon.” And I don’t know if this makes me sexist or not, but I was really impressed.

Most women can’t pull off sarcasm.

What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person? "What's bringing you down?"

James: I have a joke. Sex!

Ronny: I don't get it.

James: Exactly.

A black man entered a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.

The bartender says, "That looks exotic, where’d you get it?"

"Africa," the parrot responded.

What did one brick say to the other? Never LEGO.

One day, there were two muffins in an oven. One of the muffins said, "Man, it's hot in here." The other one said, "Oh my god! A talking muffin!!!"