Home improvement jokes
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends how hard you can throw them.
My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. "That's my stepladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them. XD
My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower. Thanks, Phil!
Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up.
One thing led to another, now I have a new patio.
Why was the dog stealing shingles?
He wanted to be a woofer.
How many children does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw.
My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.
What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?
"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."
Nobody really liked our fireplace.
So I turned it into a brick pizza oven. Idk why, but now everyone likes our fireplace.
My wife said, "Why oh why have you ordered carpet, our house is lovely?"
Thankfully the carpet was put to good use in the end, no more stupid comments coming from a rolled up Emily in the bottom of the ocean!
Why do orphans prefer IKEA to the Home Depot?
Because the Home Depot provides supplies for *a* home. IKEA just provides furniture.
A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.