Home improvement jokes
How many children does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw.
Why was the dog stealing shingles?
He wanted to be a woofer.
Nobody really liked our fireplace.
So I turned it into a brick pizza oven. Idk why, but now everyone likes our fireplace.
My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower. Thanks, Phil!
A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. "That's my stepladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up.
One thing led to another, now I have a new patio.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends how hard you can throw them.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them. XD
A homeless man sits in front of a Home Depot. A man walking out of the store hands him some money and asks, "Why are you in front of the Home Depot?" And the man says, "Isn't it obvious? Hoping somebody accidentally drops the house they just bought."
My Xbox has been acting up lately... So I painted it black to make it run faster.
The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.
I have a stepladder. My real ladder left for milk and never came back.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.