Home Improvement Jokes

Child

How many children does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw.

Dog

Why was the dog stealing shingles?

He wanted to be a woofer.

Fireplace

Nobody really liked our fireplace.

So I turned it into a brick pizza oven. Idk why, but now everyone likes our fireplace.

Water

My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower. Thanks, Phil!

  • 0
  • Ladder

    A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."

    Ladder

    My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. "That's my stepladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."

    Light

    Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up.

    Baby

    How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

    Depends on how hard you throw them.

    Water

    My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.

    Baby

    How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

    Depends how hard you can throw them.

    Baby

    How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

    Depends on how hard you throw them. XD