Home improvement jokes
How many children does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw.
Why was the dog stealing shingles?
He wanted to be a woofer.
Nobody really liked our fireplace.
So I turned it into a brick pizza oven. Idk why, but now everyone likes our fireplace.
My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower. Thanks, Phil!
A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. "That's my stepladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up.
One thing led to another, now I have a new patio.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends how hard you can throw them.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them. XD
Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.
My Xbox has been acting up lately... So I painted it black to make it run faster.
What story does an orphan always get kicked out of? Home Depot.
My ceiling isn't the best... But it's up there!
The furniture store keeps calling me back... But all I wanted was that one nightstand.