Console jokes

I bought a white Xbox to last longer, and I bought a black Xbox to run faster.

What’s faster than a black guy with the TV?

His little brother with the console.

I wish that when Mario dies to some random object, I died too.

I played Kobe Bryant on 2k14, but my console somehow kept crashing.

What is a female gamer's favorite part of the controller?

The joystick.

What is an orphan's favorite video game?

"Who's Your Daddy?"

What was the orphan's first video game console?

PS5 because it has no home button.

Epic gamer.

If your controller ever dies, remember those people that died on the submersible.

What game console do emergency vehicles play? Wii U!!!

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.

She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”

Isn't a gaming console something people use to not be alone?

THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE 50% OF THE GAMES OFFLINE?!??!?!

What's the same with a controller and a woman?

They both work if you hit them.

I had two boxes: one Roblox, one Xbox.

I bought my son an Xbox in 2017. It’s now 2018, and I’m still waiting for him to open it.

Once my cat was playing video games. I was OVERWATCHing him.

I asked him to PAWS the game. He then hissed at me. I was surprised; he usually has a good PURRsonality. He said he YARNED to play the game.

I met a man named Jebidiah on Xbox Live.

What's the difference Michael Jackson and a play station have in common...

They're both plastic and kids turn them on.

My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.

But don't worry I think she was just joking.

Why do orphans play GTA?

So they can get wanted.