Console jokes

What’s faster than a black guy with the TV?

His little brother with the console.

My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

If your controller ever dies, remember those people that died on the submersible.

A man is consoling his nine-year-old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted.

"You need to be more careful," he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."

I asked my French mate if he had a games console. He said, "Oui!"

Why can't orphans play video games?

Because they can't access the home screen.

Isn't a gaming console something people use to not be alone?

THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE 50% OF THE GAMES OFFLINE?!??!?!

My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.

But don't worry I think she was just joking.

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.

She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”

I got the newest Call of Duty game! I got a 200 kill streak, then I went home and played COD.

Got a PS5 for my little brother yesterday, best trade I'd ever done.

I played Kobe Bryant on 2k14, but my console somehow kept crashing.

Couldn't believe how much of a bad mood my work mate was in this morning. So I decided to ask him what was the matter and if everything was OK with his wife, Flo.

He then broke down crying and said when he got home the night before, he caught his wife in bed with the plumber. I tried to console him as best as I could, but he just couldn't get over flow.

What's the same with a controller and a woman?

They both work if you hit them.

What game console do emergency vehicles play? Wii U!!!

What was the orphan's first video game console?

PS5 because it has no home button.

I wish that when Mario dies to some random object, I died too.

I got an Xbox achievement the other day. It said "Trash Master," and everyone looked at me at the funeral.

I painted my black PS5 white so the controller would run faster.

Epic gamer.