Confusion

Confusion jokes

Drunk

    • A Chinese drunk and a Jewish drunk are sitting together on a park bench.

    After finishing his drink, the Jew takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Chinese drunk.

    "What the hell was that for?" asks the Chinese man, rubbing his head.

    "That was for Pearl Harbor!" replies the Jewish drunk.

    "Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!" he exclaims in return.

    "Eh, Chinese, Japanese, Korean... you're all the same to me," the Jewish man explains as he gets up to leave.

    The next day, the two drunks are back on the same park bench. The Chinese drunk suddenly takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Jew.

    "Why the hell did you do that?" the Jewish man stammers.

    "That was for the Titanic!" explains the Chinese drunk.

    "The Titanic? What are you talking about? No one attacked it, it sunk when it hit an iceberg!" the Jew replies.

    "Eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg... you're all the same to me," the Chinese drunk happily retorts.

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    • Grandma

    • 3 boys were having a debate about who had the healthiest grandma.

    Boy 1: "I have the healthiest grandma. She is 67 years old and can still do a backflip!"

    Boy 2: "No, I have the healthiest grandma. She is 76 years old and can still finish a marathon!"

    Boy 3: "I have the healthiest grandma. She is 85 and she is in the hospital..."

    Boy 1 and 2, looking confused.

    Boy 1: "If she's so healthy, why is she in the hospital?"

    Boy 3: "Because she's giving birth right now!"

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    • Day

    • One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.

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    • Confusion memes

    Nun

    • Three nuns die in a car crash, but they all make it to heaven. They're standing at the pearly gates, and Saint Peter says to them, "Don't worry, you're going to get in, but first I need you to answer these questions."

    He asks the first nun, "What was the name of the first woman?" The nun says, "Eve." Saint Peter says, "Go on in."

    Then he asks the second nun, "Where did Adam and Eve live?" The second one says, "The Garden of Eden." Saint Peter says, "You can go through."

    Finally, he gets to the third nun and says, "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" The nun stands there a little confused and says, "Boy, that's a hard one." Saint Peter, shocked, goes, "That's correct! Go on in."

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    • Toilet Paper

    • I see how it is y’all be buying toilet paper, stocking up from the Coronavirus, but where on the symptoms does it say diarrhea? Lol, why y’all be buying toilet paper, now I am just confused.

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    • Nun

    • Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can’t use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It’s not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."

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    • Smile

    • Smile, because it confuses people. Smile, because it’s easier than explaining what is killing you inside.

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    • Ant

    • So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.

    They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."

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    • Morgue

    • Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.

    So, one time poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.

    He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.

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