Computer jokes
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first byte! <3
Why do orphans suck at web design?
They don’t know what a home page is.
Video games don't make people violent, lag does.
When does a computer function best? When it listens to its motherboard.
Why can’t orphans build computers?
They don’t know where to put the motherboard.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He didn't have enough room for any more RAM on his motherboard. I feel so bad for saying that!
What is the difference between Princess Diana and my laptop?
When my laptop crashes, I give a s**t.
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.
"I told my kids not to spend all day at a computer, but then I realized I do that myself."
What is the difference between an American and a computer?
An American doesn’t have trouble shooting.
I went to the store and bought Minecraft Java Edition.
I found a village, burned it down, and then I went home and played Minecraft.
The reason Stephen Hawking died was because he switched WiFi routers from Sky to Virgin, so his computer lagged out.
Don't worry, Stephen Hawking isn't dead.
They have just got to copy and paste his memory onto a USB.
He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.
My local hacker contacted me and told me that he hacked my computer.
I responded, “Show me proof.” He provided the username and password for my email account, bank account, video game accounts, and social media accounts. To be honest, that is the fastest “Forgot Password” procedure I’ve ever done.
Yo mama is so fat that when she sits on the internet, it will take a day to send!
Stephen Hawking + Computer = SMART!
Stephen Hawking + Shoulder = HUNGRY!
Why was the computer late to work?
Because it had a hard drive!
Why is the iPhone 7 not a smartphone?
It doesn't know jack.
Why was Stephen Hawking never trusted when taking a quiz?
"No computers allowed on the test!"