I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer.
I saw it through my telescope last night.
Computer Jokes
There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.
The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"
What's the difference between America and a flash drive?
One is USA and the other is USB! đđđ
What is the difference between Princess Diana and my laptop?
When my laptop crashes, I give a s**t.
Stephen Hawking did not die; he deleted himself.
Whatâs Whitney Houstonâs favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
Whatâs better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I donât know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying âOoh, I love how smooth it is.â
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to download a free version of Windows.
Why does Stephen Hawking need some screens?
He needs to win those Fortnite tournaments and get to Champions League.
Me, smashes mouse after losing a match; everybody at the pet race: :O
What is missing when an orphan buys a laptop?
The home screen.
Has anyone else ever been jealous when their laptop dies?
I went up to an orphan bully and I said, "Here, look, I made a website!"
The orphan likes it, but the kid says, "I forgot one feature, though... the home button."
Stephen Hawking had a heart attack the year before his death.
They took him to PC World for repairs.
Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.
People shouldn't worry about how orphans would feel reading these jokes. It's not like they have parents to buy them a phone or computer to see them, or even a place to charge them even if they did have one.
What does a baby computer call its father? Data.
Stephen Hawking only died because he tried to install Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
How many guns can an octopus hold?
9
I felt bad for a dog, and I looked to my left, and there was an orphan, and I said I will make you a website, and I said there won't be a homepage.
"Get off your computer, Jessie Jex."
