Competition jokes
A pedophile and a priest run a race.
You can’t beat yourself in a race!
How did you get into the tampon 100?
Pull some strings!
Why did the rapper bring a dictionary to the rap battle?
For WORDPLAY!
Mr. Beast challenge in Memphis be like: last one to survive the shooting wins 1 million dollars.
Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.
(Just a joke, she's probably kind.)
Strength
Why did Jesus die at the diving Olympics? Because he can't go through water.
Where would the next Formula race happen?
Answer: On your flat chest.
Who did a barber win a race?
He knew a short cut.
How do fat people settle arguments?
By seeing who can eat the most at a buffet.
What do you call a country who needs another race just to be the best country in sports?
America.
What was the score of the basketball game in Africa?
Eight-nothing.
Playing a game called 7-Up.
Student: Why can't I use a pencil to tap their fingers?
Teacher: It's cheating!
Student: No! It's the object of the game.
When I have a staring contest, I always win.
Every day, I see blind people who hate me.
Russia vs. Ukraine is the ultimate CS:GO match ever!
Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.
Comment your favorite sport.
I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one says, "You're such a cheetah!" Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.
An orphan went on a game show.
The host looked at him and said, "You can't play, this is Family Feud."
Why did the rapper bring a broom on stage?
To sweep the competition!
If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come in fourth so I wouldn't have to walk up to the podium.