Competition jokes
I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.
South's losing to Broncos. 😹
You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.
"Slow and steady wins the race."
I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...
Strength
I got in a cage fight.
The hamster didn't know what hit him!
My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.
She's not the only one who can play that game.
And there's the referee taking down Ronaldo's number.
Not really the time or the place, but it's good to see that we've kept homophobia out of football.
Who did a barber win a race?
He knew a short cut.
What was the score of the basketball game in Africa?
Eight-nothing.
What do you call a country who needs another race just to be the best country in sports?
America.
Playing a game called 7-Up.
Student: Why can't I use a pencil to tap their fingers?
Teacher: It's cheating!
Student: No! It's the object of the game.
Why are Americans so good at shooting?
We have the best schools for it.
Why did the rapper bring a broom on stage?
To sweep the competition!
If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come in fourth so I wouldn't have to walk up to the podium.
Why is the record for longest jump kept by an emo?
They're still hanging.
My friend: Hey, I got 15 kills!
Me: I got 60 kills!
My friend: I didn't know you played Call of Duty!
Me: What's Call of Duty?
When I have a staring contest, I always win.
Every day, I see blind people who hate me.
Russia vs. Ukraine is the ultimate CS:GO match ever!
Comment your favorite sport.