The lettuce and tomato where in a race. The lettuce was a head and the tomato was trying to ketchup
Me playing a game...... what did God just stop are hearts cause we didn't kill each other
Like if that was good
My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheese burgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through. So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress I guess :D
My boyfriend entered a retarded contest but they said no Bc they don’t alow perfectionist
Two rabbits were racing. Neither could get a-head, so they ended in a hare-tie!
Girl: hi(flirt) Boy: hi?(reluctant) Girl: im a cheerleader captain, im also single.(flirt) Boy 2: exuse me?! He's MY MAN...
I saw a trophy in my sister room. So I said congratulations for your cheer leading. My sister said I didn't win the trophy for cheer leading, so I ask why. My sister said I won because I give the best best jobs.
What's a rapper's favorite sport?
RHYME RACING
Why can't fat kids play poker?
They eat all the chips.
If, Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money. P.S.. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to 'When You Wish Upon A Window', with the castle being the Blue Peter ship, instead.
Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?
Because good rappers always STAND OUT
Mr. Smith: Neona, tell us what you have for the biggest competition that we can do to keep our competitors out of the winning streak.
Neona: Will thought we used more sales and more advertising.
Mr. Smith: It's already a good idea. Now what about the business plan? We need it as recommendations to keep the business going. Tell me, what do you have in mine?
Neona: It is better to always have a plan. I was thinking that we can get higher prices and always get great deals, the people will go nuts for a great deal!
Mr. Smith: Perfect. Now let's take a 5 minute break.
Mr. Smith: Ok, 5 minutes is up!
Now Neona, I know you are an intern, but what are the best things we can do for the company?
Neona: Hmm...lets see...will we can start with all the things people love! If this is going to work then we have have to......
why are americans such good chess players?
because they lost 2 towers.
Why do orphans like playing tennis so much?
Because it’s the only way they’ll ever get love
whats the difference between fortnite and pubg
idk
I wonder if would have rekt Hitler in a 1v1 build battle in fortnite
Why did the smart orphan loose the tech competition?
The motherboard was no where to be found
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
(found on web) There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength.
News began to circulate of a Russian wrestler who was fierce and unstoppable. As each wrestlers legends grew, a match was set up between the two, America versus Russia. The match would be held in Texas.
John began training immediately. Every day his coach would tell him, “This Russian has a move called the Mongolian Death Grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian Death Grip. DO NOT let him get you in the Mongolian Death Grip”
The day of the match finally came. Just before each wrestler stepped onto the mat in front of the capacity crowd, the coach once again said, “Whatever you do, do not let him get you in the Mongolian death grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian death grip”.
Four seconds into the match, the Russian had the American in the Mongolian death grip. The coach buried his face into his hands and cursed John for not listening to his advice. All of the sudden he heard the crowd irrupt in a chant of USA USA USA. He looked up and saw the Russian pinned by John. The coach ran out to meet John and embarrassingly told him, “I didn’t see... Once he had you in the Mongolian Death Grip I looked away. How in the world did you get out of the Mongolian death grip?”
With heavy breath, John told him “Well coach, that Russian grabbed me and twisted my body in ways I never imagined possible. I was wincing in pain when I open my eyes and right in front of me were two testicles. So I bit them.”
“What???” Said the coach... “John I don’t think that is legal. You could be disqualified”
“I don’t know about that coach. But I can tell you one thing. You ain’t got no idea how strong you are until you bite your own balls”
Celebrate-By- watersharky Productions and Pitbull- Mr. Worldwide Let's celebrate I just wanna celebrate I just wanna celebrate Tonight we're making history I just wanna celebrate We've been around the world, same song Work hard, play hard, all day long All the continents get jealous over me You can see me 3D overseas If you know me then you know where to find me Off in the Bahamas with a bad one behind me Now live it up, live it up, live it up Baby pick it up, pick it up, pick it up And we gon' Boom boom around the world Boom boom no kidding girl Boom boom that's the way we like to play We gon' Boom boom around the world Boom boom no kidding girl Boom boom that's the way we like to play I just wanna celebrate I just wanna celebrate Tonight we're making history I just wanna celebrate Turn it up Turn it up I've been patiently waiting for you to shake and shake it Make it or take it The point is we made it Courted by the game, call us Tom Brady And it's not our fault that we have all the ladies But it's hard to see these ladies when your middle name's Equator All around the globe, matter fact see your later They're great, we're great at world war, dominators And we're also some smooth operators, and we gon' Boom boom around the world Boom boom no kidding girl Boom boom That's the way we like to play We gon' Boom boom around the world Boom boom no kidding girl Boom boom that's the way we like to play I just wanna celebrate I just wanna celebrate Tonight we're making history I just wanna celebrate Turn it up Turn it up Live it up (Live it up), don't let life live you (Live you) It's a good time (Good time), so we give you (Give you) Now live it up, live it up, live it up, live it up, live it up What you wanna do? I just wanna celebrate I just wanna celebrate Tonight we're making history I just wanna celebrate Turn it up Let's celebrate Turn it up Let's celebrate
