Competition jokes
I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.
South's losing to Broncos. 😹
I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...
"Slow and steady wins the race."
Who did a barber win a race?
He knew a short cut.
Strength
My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.
She's not the only one who can play that game.
And there's the referee taking down Ronaldo's number.
Not really the time or the place, but it's good to see that we've kept homophobia out of football.
The farmers were playing chess, and the winner shouted and said: "I killed your horse!"
The second quickly left, and when he returned he said: "We have poisoned all your cows!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, You're so flat we can play chess on your chest!
What was the score of the basketball game in Africa?
Eight-nothing.
What do you call a country who needs another race just to be the best country in sports?
America.
Playing a game called 7-Up.
Student: Why can't I use a pencil to tap their fingers?
Teacher: It's cheating!
Student: No! It's the object of the game.
If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come in fourth so I wouldn't have to walk up to the podium.
Why did the rapper bring a broom on stage?
To sweep the competition!
Why are Americans so good at shooting?
We have the best schools for it.
When I have a staring contest, I always win.
Every day, I see blind people who hate me.
My friend: Hey, I got 15 kills!
Me: I got 60 kills!
My friend: I didn't know you played Call of Duty!
Me: What's Call of Duty?
When your friends [are] talking about sports:
Jake says, "It was 17.56M people watching [the] basketball championship."🦁
Sam says, "It was 113M people watching the Super Bowl." 😯🐱
Avion says, "It was up from 1.12 billion people watching [the] World Cup." 😶🙀
Why is the record for longest jump kept by an emo?
They're still hanging.
Russia vs. Ukraine is the ultimate CS:GO match ever!