Comparison jokes
One person said you are much more beautiful than Cinderella. The next day, you're in court and Cinderella is the witness.
(P.S. she was born to be a drama queen.)
Your forehead is damn big, Walt was jealous of you.
Simplest way to tell if dogs are better than cats: My dog is named Curiosity, and your cat is dead.
What does a dick and an elderly person have in common? They are both short.
Your hairline is so far back, it makes the Giant from Clash of Clans jealous!
Your hairline is so back it looks like Will Smith slapped it.
What's the difference between me and a rope?
The rope doesn't hang from itself.
Roses are red, violets are blue, you are so ugly that no one likes you.
Your hairline is so bald, Mr. Clean even said it's bald!
Your hairline is so far back it makes me look like Shaq O'Neal.
What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?
Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
Your mom is so hairy that King Kong got jealous of her.
You're so clapped that you make Susan Boyle attractive.
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like one!
You're so bald, Bob Hope would refer to you as "grandpa."
You're so bald that when you wear a poncho, you look like a broken condom.
Wife: "Honey? What do you think about my teeth?"
Husband: "They remind me of stars... yellow and far apart."
Your hairline is more bent than James Charles' gender.
Yo mama's teeth so yellow, I can't believe it's not butter!