Comparison

Comparison jokes

What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?

"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."

What’s the difference between Anne Frank and Harry Potter?

Only one came out of the chamber.

Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...

The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.

What do emos and unsalted popcorn have in common?

They're both white and flavorless.

Your hairline is like a lollipop because every time someone licks it, it gets shorter.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought the Grinch was ugly until I saw you.