Comparison jokes
What's the difference between an asshole and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
Yo mama so fat, her belly button got 15 minutes before her.
Your forehead [is] so big that if I drew an H on it, Kobe could have landed there.
What do pedophiles and a SpongeBob intro have in common?
Are you ready kids?
Your forehead is so large, if I drew an H on it, maybe Kobe could've landed.
What does a condom and a coffin have in common?
They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.
You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.
Friend: I must order more nuts.
Your forehead is so big Mega Mind gets jealous.
What's the difference between necrophilia and a choking fetish? 15 seconds.
Why are Michael Jackson and caviar so much in common?
They both come on little white crackers.
Amelia is hotter than my mum 696969696.
Your forehead is so big even Mega Mind knew you were smarter.
What is happening? Which is better: being loved or being hated? State your answer.
Your forehead's so big even Barry Wood said, "Wow, that's huge!"
What's the difference between an egg and a good wank?
You can beat an egg.
Yo mama so ugly, she went to the bathroom and scared the sh*t out of the toilet.
A girl said to me yesterday, "I don't know why men act like they are better than women, we all know women are supreme." I was confused, so I asked her how, and she told me, "Well, us women have a pussy, ass, and tits, while guys only have a penis. Women have 3 things while guys only have 1. Women are obviously supreme over men." I told her, "Actually, guys have more than women." "How so?" "Men have rights."
Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?
A knife has a point.
My friend that used to be married was making jokes about me being short. Then I told him, "Your marriage was so short it made me look like Shaquille O'Neal."
I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.