Comparison jokes
What is the difference between the President of Ukraine and the President of the United States?
The President of Ukraine is a comedian, and the President of the United States is a joke!
Q: What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler?
A: One got to finish a race.
What's the difference between babies and onions?
You don't cry cutting up babies.
What is the difference between an orphan and a blind kid?
They both can’t see their parents. 😂😂😂😂😂
What's the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? Nothing, we're both broken.
what's the difference between my hand and my blade? my hand isn't sharp.
How come your sister is hotter than you? Funny, huh?
Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin off and eat them, they die.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Shrek thought he was ugly until he saw you.
What's the difference between blood and an orphan? Blood has a place in all of our hearts.
You're so skinny, you could travel through a fax!
Your mom is just like Rapunzel, but instead of letting down her hair, she lets everyone down! OHHHHH!
If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.
You're so flat, you make pancakes look thiccc.
Your so fat, my sister said. I said, "So at least I ain't fatter than your momma."
I got the new phone with longer lasting battery, but it still lasts longer than your relationships, ooooooooooo!
What's the difference between an emo kid and a leaf? Only the leaf reaches the ground.
The twin towers were like my parents... They never came back.
What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?
They can't stand up for themselves.
"Can I throw you away? You look like my trash can. Oh, wait, you *are* my trash can."