Comparison jokes
I’d say Leo is as sharp as a marble, but that would be an insult to marbles.
I've seen more depth in a kiddie pool than in BLESSEDBRIAN’s jokes.
Mariah Carey is a more legit rapper than rapboat.
I would call Slade dense, but that would be an insult to rocks.
The British equivalent to 9/11 would be a big red bus crashing into Big Ben.
How Chinese is COVID? About the same as those red MAGA hats made in China.
Why are Americans so shocked when it comes to Mexican drug cartels?
Because none of the drug lords (or their associates, for that matter) have shot up a school.
What's the difference between BTS and Futurama? There's only one Bender in Futurama.
Girls: 🙏 *Period* ✍️💅
Men: 🗿 *Growth* 🗿🗿🗿
What’s the difference between Swifties and rap fans?
One rap fan has a higher IQ than every Swiftie combined.
What's the difference between a Nazi and an onion? If you cut a Nazi, nobody is crying.
What’s the difference between a firefighter and Snoop Dogg?
Snoop Dogg inhaled less smoke during 9/11.
Roses are red, Violets are ugly.
Violet thought she was ugly until she saw you!
What is the difference between women and cars?
At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.
What is the difference between a microwave and a gay guy?
A microwave doesn’t brown your meat.
What do women and KFC have in common?
After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
Your hairline is so bad that KSI's hairline actually looks normal.
The maid asked her boss, the wife, for a raise, and the wife was upset.
The wife asked, "Why do you think you deserve a pay increase?"
Maid: "There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you."
Wife: "Did my husband say that as well?"
Maid: "No, the gardener did."
Wife: "So how much do you want?"
What’s the difference between me and Glow In The Dark Intelligent Putty? The putty’s intelligent!
Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:
Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.