Comparison jokes
You're shorter than a thumbtack, like, boy, your auntie is probably taller than you.
1, 2 you built like a dork.
3, 4 you got no girl, 4, 5 you're shorter than a remote.
Fam, you weaker than a polar bear!
An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."
What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.
Girls: Boys are like games, they're meant to get played.
Boys: Girls are like stones, the flat ones get skipped.
Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭
What is the difference between the National Organization For Carpet Munchers and the National Organization For Women?
The National Organization For Women has more experience in being a carpet muncher because they eat more pussy.
What's the difference between me and a rope?
A rope will hang with you.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?
The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.
What's the difference between you and a Barbie? There is no difference. Both of your faces are fake.
what do baby’s and grenades have in common?
They both are silent but then when thrown at someone make a loud noise
Roses are red, violets are blue, a face like yours belongs in a place worse than a zoo.
Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.
Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(
Your hair line is curved like a moving train.
What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.
Your mama so fat, it took all the trees to build her a coffin.
Your hairline is so bad it was used as the Starbucks logo!
If your hairline was a river, it would meander left, right, and backwards.
The tables in my class are straight, but I can’t say the same thing for your hairline.