Comedy jokes
What did the flower say to the crazy peanut?
"Ur going nuts boii, get back on yo' plant. Ur too nuts for me."
I was going to make a joke about a piece of paper.
It's just too tear-able.
It insists upon itself, Lois, it insists upon itself.
Derrick and Clive. They have a song about a Dad with cancer and other extremely offensive subjects in a routine called "The Non-Stop Dancer." It is very funny, but it is made even funnier by Dudley Moore's drunken and stoned laughter through the song.
One of the best routines ever. Look it up on YouTube. They recorded them in the studio, but they are ad-libbing and extremely drunk.
Right, I have a dog and his name is Syndrome, and whenever he is good, I go "Good Syndrome," but whenever he is naughty, I go "Down Syndrome."
What's an Indian's favorite store?
Red Dot.
That joke and paper have one thing in common: they're both tearable.
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
Those t.p. jokes are getting shittier by the second.
What did the shark say when he ate a clownfish? He said it tasted a little funny.
Stop with the 9/11 jokes.
They're not gonna fly.
Don’t stop orphan jokes. They’re funny, and people are just mad that they don’t understand the jokes because they're too STUUUPID.
What is the weirdest thing to wear and what is the weirdest thing to say?
Weirdest thing to ware: Socks with sandals, also with flip flops!
Weirdest thing to say: "Would you rather be a bath or a toilet?" "The blue angel sea slug looks like an alien." (weird).
Bonus: Things to ware with other things: Crop top with t-shirt (really hip), Crop top with tights or shorts, dresses with tights! (Cool) Oh well byeeeeeee!
What's the Pixar movie close to being a pornstar? Toy Story... *I got a friend in me*
When Knife tells Annoying Orange, "I'm trying something new," Annoying Orange said, "Oh no, are you having a midknife crisis?" and then Annoying Orange laughs.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ketchup.
Ketchup who?
Ketchup my slow tomatoes! 🍅😂
9/11 was pretty great to me, it's just hilarious to watch people lose at Jenga.
Why is Jenna Marbles so funny? She lost all her marbles.
No more toilet paper jokes, please.
What's the difference between a joke and the Twin Towers? People don't laugh at my jokes.
Look! An ancient African city!
From the makers of Timbukone...