Comedy jokes

Seriously, who wants fucking Annoying Orange as president?

Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.

I have an orphan joke, but it needs parental guidance.

Where do mathematicians go to die?

The symmetry.

What's the difference between a joke and the Twin Towers? People don't laugh at my jokes.

The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don't take it seriously. Can't believe that people actually think that was true.

Yo momma is so ugly, she made my Happy Meal cry.

I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.

What do you call a gay drive-by?

A fruit roll up.

POV you are drunk and telling jokes and no one is listening 😭😭😭

I have a pen, I have an Apple, um, Apple pen.

The Taliban had a plane, the US had a building boom, 9/11.

What is an orphan's favorite movie?

Home Alone.

I wanted to make a joke about homework, but sadly, I'm an orphan.

I never do dark jokes, but when I feel like it, I prefer orphan jokes, 'cause they're the safest option. I mean, what are they gonna do, call their parents?

Q. What's a bulimic's favorite movie?

A. The Purge.

What is an orphan's least favorite TV show?

Family Feud.

I see, you guys jokers are SANS-ational!

How did I get to Iraq? I ran.

What do you call the worst joke ever?

Well, according to my mom, I am.

What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?

Both are sick and twisted.