Comedy jokes
What's red and runs up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
What’s an orphan’s favorite Netflix show?
Fuller House.
Yo momma is so ugly, she made my Happy Meal cry.
Do you have a shovel in your back pocket?
Why?
'Cause I’m digging that ass.
You might think these jokes are plane.
When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"
"Sure."
"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"
"What?"
"They both get thrown out."
What's the Pixar movie close to being a pornstar? Toy Story... *I got a friend in me*
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip, and he died. That was the last thing we did together, and I will never forget his last words: “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS!”
What is a disabled person's favorite type of comedy? Sit-down comedy!
#NoMoreOrphanJokes
Your mom so ugly that Paul Walker died.
Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?
Kid: AK!
Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻
I am a fruitcake. Why? Because I’m fruity and nutty. That’s the joke. Tada!
My friends hate when I make skeleton jokes. I guess I need to put more backbone into it.
Guy: "Can I tell you a joke?"
Spiderman: "Yes."
Guy: "You only have 11 months on your calendar."
Spiderman: "Why?"
Guy: *holds up knife* "Because I murdered May."
Why did the skeleton go to the movies by himself?
He had no body to go with.
A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.
I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.
I rate it 9/11.
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll up.