Collision jokes
A man hits a woman with his car. Whose fault was it?
The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?
Joe: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
Ben: I don't know.
Joe: They both look good until they hit the ice.
What hits the ground first, the feather or the emo?
The feather, because the emo is hung in the tree.
A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?
Her boner.
What happens when a Jewish guy walks into a wall with a full erection?
He breaks his nose.
Did you hear about Alicia's car accident?
She was really drunk and all over the road until she was all over the road.
What happens if an Asian walks into a wall with a boner?
They hit their nose on the wall.
What is the world's strongest material?
The tree that Paul Walker hit.
"Wow... That ship is beautiful! I wonder what will happen if I ram into it..." - Iceberg, 1912.
A Lew runs into a wall, what does he break? His Nose.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what does he break? His lawn mower.
What do birds and planes have in common?
They both fly into building windows.
The definition of the word "Disappointment" means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.
You wanna know why the Titanic was split in half? The iceberg hit it from the front and back.
Were you bought on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.
Today was the worst day ever. My ex got hit by a truck... On the plus side, my truck doesn't even have a dent.
What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
Dam.
There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.
The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"
Three blondes were walking on a path. The first blonde said, “Hey, look, there are deer tracks!” The second blonde said, “No way, those are totally duck tracks.” The third blonde said, “Nuh uh, those are...” Then they got hit by a train.
Why did the wall fall over?
A drunk driver hit it going 90mph and died.
What's the definition of disappointment?
Running into a wall with a boner, but it only hits your nose.