Classroom jokes
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?
The quiet kid: Splosion.
Teacher: What comes after A?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
Teacher: Faints.
Uh, six teachers are annoying. Thank God I am not getting picked on at school or on this website.
What do a mag and a clip have in common? They are both good at school.
What's the worst place to teach an orphan? Homeschool.
What has more brains than a student in a school shooting? The wall behind them.
What punishment are teachers unable to do to orphans?
Call their parents.
When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.
Bing, bang, boom!
Primary School Maths Teacher: Maths has no Limits!
High School Maths Teacher: There's this thing called Limits.
What do you call a short person that goes to school?
A Sammie.
Why couldn't the teacher let her kids out?
Because she has no arms to open the door.
What time is it when you get mad 😡 at school? Time to calm down.
In kindergarten, we were starting to learn how to use "big kid words." On Monday, the teacher asked everyone to share what they did over the weekend, but we had to use big kid words.
Eventually it got to my turn, and the teacher asked me what I did over the summer. I told her I read a book. She asked me what book, and to remember to use "big kid words." I'll never forget the horrified look on her face when I replied with "Winnie the Shit."
I got detention one day. I don’t know why; I only slapped the emo kid on the wrist.
I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.
I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"
She said, "She was a little tardy."
I asked her, "I thought they all were."
What’s a teacher's favorite tree?
A geometry.
I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn't like it if we don't work on math in his class. So, I did science homework on top of a math book.
There were 30 high school seniors taking finals, and once they finished, the teacher, Mrs. Jones, walked up and down the classroom to collect the tests, and asked, "So, are you guys ready for college?" And Brian answered, "No way. School is just a waste of time, every day taking *seven cruel hours of our lives*." Angela replied, "Never! Like Brian said, school is just a waste of time, and the next level is surely not worth paying $50,000 for. Besides, math class is *mental abuse to humans*!" And Jack said, "School has been a waste of so much time I'll never get back, and after these *finals* I've realized... *fuck, I never actually learned shit*!"
Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?
Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.
Student: Ok!!
Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?
Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.
Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.
Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.
Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?
That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.
My teacher got so mad at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and I said, "Damn, got hit twice!"