Classroom jokes
I remember having a crush on my math teacher, so I winked at her and said, "Don't worry, babe, I'll call you later."
Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?
Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.
Student: Ok!!
Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?
Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.
Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.
Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.
I will always remember the last noise I hear in my school, "oogga booga motherf***ers," click, boom!
Uh, six teachers are annoying. Thank God I am not getting picked on at school or on this website.
I got detention one day. I don’t know why; I only slapped the emo kid on the wrist.
What do a mag and a clip have in common? They are both good at school.
What’s the only other advantage of being an orphan?
The teacher can’t give you homework.
Little Johnny was in class and the teacher said, "Okay class, what's behind my back?" She said, "It's round and red," and Sally said, "Ooh, ooh, it's an apple!" And the teacher said, "No, but I like where you're going with this." So now the teacher said, "It is also used to make multiple things," and Sally said, "Ooh, ooh, it's a container of paint!" And the teacher said, "Again, no, but I like where you're going with this." And the teacher said, "It's a ball of yarn," as she pulled it out from behind her back. Then Little Johnny said, "Okay, my turn." He said, "What's in my pocket? It's round and it has a head." And the teacher said, "That's enough, Johnny, now sit down." And Little Johnny pulled the thing out of his pocket and said, "It's a nickel, but I like where you're going with this."
When a homeless kid goes to school and the teacher says, "You have homework tonight," he said, "Sorry, Teach, I don't got a home."
Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?
That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.
Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, “Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch...;” “Johnny!” shouted his mother. “Stop swearing!” “But mom!” Little Johnny protested, “That’s what the teacher taught us! And she said we should recite it till we learned it!”
The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. “No, no,” said the teacher, terrified. “That’s not what I taught them. They’re supposed to say: ‘Two plus two, the sum of which is four.’”
Why did the teacher yell at the orphan?
Because he didn’t do his homework.
When the school shooter finds you under the table,
"Wonderful weather we're having!"
Teacher: How much is a gram?
Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.
Teacher: Why were you late?
Me: Traffic.
Teacher: Did I did it?
Me: Did I even blame it on you?
What do a school shooter and a lightbulb have in common? They both light up the classroom. 🤡💀
What’s a teacher's favorite tree?
A geometry.
I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn't like it if we don't work on math in his class. So, I did science homework on top of a math book.
When you get caught about to shoot up the school,
*slowly puts AR to chin*
My math teacher asked me what a liked term was. I told her I couldn't say, never experienced it.