Classroom jokes

A child asks his teacher to go to the toilet.

"Before you go, recite the alphabet," the teacher says.

"a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z"

"Good, but where's the p?"

"Running down my leg."

Today in class, I screamed "Jenga!"

We were watching a 9/11 documentary.

What school subject does an orphan love?

PE because they actually get picked.

How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.

Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”

Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.

“Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly.

“Correct,” says the teacher.

The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”

Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil.

“Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts.

“Correct again,” says the teacher.

The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.

This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”

Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”

When the teacher calls on you and asks you how many people did Hitler kill?

"One, he killed himself."

When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.

Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles. His teacher asked, "Three birds were sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied, "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said, "No, but I like the way you think!"

Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said, "Little Johnny!" He replied, "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"

What's an orphan's high school nickname? "Lone Stone."

I got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging.

Teacher: Where's your homework?

Student: At home...

Teacher: What's it doing there?

Student: Having a better time than me.

The teacher asked, "Why are you in school on a Saturday?"

I told her my mum told me to go to hell.

I never knew the kid at school had autism. I always just thought he was walking into cobwebs.

You can understand depression if you are still in school and get bullied by bullies, punished by teachers, and scolded by parents for being that quiet kid who says nothing.

When the school shooter breaks into your classroom, so you try to say goodbye to your Roblox gf, but then the shooter's phone goes off.

Teacher: "I'm sorry, but you got a 74 on the test."

Quiet Kid: "I'll show you my own 74."

Classroom: *visible panic*

My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

Me: Demon Slayer.

My teacher: Why?

The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!

Teacher: "What do you think is your purpose in our society?"

Me: "To reduce the population by one."

Student: "May I use the restroom, professor?"

Professor: "Oui oui."

Student: "No, professor, doo doo!"

A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."