Christmas jokes
What sound does a nut make when it comes alive?
Christmas!
What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?
Moorry Christmas!
(Even though cows can't really have religions.)
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
What’s the difference between Santa and an orphan? Nothing; they don’t have parents.
On Christmas, Mexicans wake up in the morning, then take a nap.
Joking, I know they work hard. They run all the way to the border to decorate the barbed wire.
Memes
Why is Santa so jolly? Because he knows where the naughty girls live!
What is an orphan's least favorite holiday?
Christmas, they wish they'd get parents.
Why do orphans watch "The Nightmare Before Christmas"?
Answer: Oogie Boogie is ugly, so they want to be ugly.
Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry?
Rapey Santa.
What happens if you play with Santa’s ball? You get a white Christmas.
What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, they haven't got family.
Why was Santa Santa?
Because it was Santa! Hahahaha 😂😂😂😂😂😂
What time is it when you eat a Christmas tree?
Time to get a new Christmas tree! 🎄
My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.
I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"
I know this girl, Kamelah. She say, "What are you looking at?" I said, "I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline."
Me: How do you celebrate Christmas?
Orphan: I don't know what you mean.
Me: There is no one to give a present.
Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.
The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.
Yo momma so fat, Santa said, "Ho, ho, ho, I've gotta go!"
Why are Santa's balls so big?
Because he comes once a year.
What do people get for Christmas when they behave badly? They get coal. Why coal, you're probably saying, because the true meaning is cucks of all kinds.