Christmas

Christmas Jokes

Christmas Present

What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!

What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!

What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!

Orphan

What’s the difference between Santa and an orphan? Nothing; they don’t have parents.

Mexican

On Christmas, Mexicans wake up in the morning, then take a nap.

Joking, I know they work hard. They run all the way to the border to decorate the barbed wire.

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  • Orphan

    Why do orphans watch "The Nightmare Before Christmas"?

    Answer: Oogie Boogie is ugly, so they want to be ugly.

    Ball

    What happens if you play with Santa’s ball? You get a white Christmas.

    Orphan

    What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, they haven't got family.

    Orphan

    What is an orphan's least favorite holiday?

    Christmas, they wish they'd get parents.

    Santa

    Why is Santa so jolly? Because he knows where the naughty girls live!

    Santa

    Why was Santa Santa?

    Because it was Santa! Hahahaha 😂😂😂😂😂😂

    Coal

    What do people get for Christmas when they behave badly? They get coal. Why coal, you're probably saying, because the true meaning is cucks of all kinds.

    Hairline

    I know this girl, Kamelah. She say, "What are you looking at?" I said, "I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline."

    Orphan

    Me: How do you celebrate Christmas?

    Orphan: I don't know what you mean.

    Me: There is no one to give a present.

    Gift

    It’s Christmas and Sally has a gift. She got a Barrie. Just kidding, she still hasn’t opened it.

    Robbery

    Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.

    The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.

    Door

    I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness.

    Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off.

    Sister

    My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.

    I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"