Christmas

Christmas jokes

It’s Christmas and Sally has a gift. She got a Barrie. Just kidding, she still hasn’t opened it.

What is the true meaning of Christmas?

Stealing presents from orphans - a quote by Technoblade.

It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom.

He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store."

But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH!" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19-year-old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?"

Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing."

Johnny says, "Oh. But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"

(Santa winks at you)

Why can’t Jesus be born in West Virginia?

Because they couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin.

Why are Christmas trees banned at the mental hospital?

They would hang themselves like ornaments.

Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.

What do people get for Christmas when they behave badly? They get coal. Why coal, you're probably saying, because the true meaning is cucks of all kinds.

If things don't get better, the Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging.

I KNOW IT'S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!

Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL!

I guess it's time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!