Children jokes
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedo have in common?
Are you ready, kids?🤣
If you wanna hit somebody, hit an orphan, what are they gonna do... tell their parents?
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"
What spooky creature has children?
Mummies.
What foods are orphans allergic to? Homemade food.
I will tell you a story. There was a fruit named Pear who was named Dyck. He one day met his friend Carrot, who was later killed after being stuck into some girl's vagina.
Pear then became very sadistic and no one loved him, and he became mentally fruit-pressed. One day he met a Banana named Harvey Weinstein, and they got married and had children who were all named Minion. Eventually, the rest of his family died, and Pear was left slowly rotting away. His last words were, "I have finally 'peared' the consequences of all my actions."
What can you never tell an orphan?
Go home to your parents.
So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
What do you call a priest meeting his illegal children?
A holy CUMmunion.
What's the best thing about dead baby jokes? They never grow old.
A teacher asked his students a math question.
"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"
After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.
"One dollar!" she said.
What do you call an orphanage that's not an orphanage?
A homeless shelter.
Me: "I like kids."
Planes shouldn't have free Wi-Fi. Why? Because the last time they had free Wi-Fi, well here's what happened...
On September eleventh 2001, (children scream).
What do kids play when they can't play with a phone?
Bored games.
What's the one good thing about pedophiles? They slow down near schoolzones.
What’s a peedophile’s favorite shoes? White vans.
I read to deaf kids in my spare time.
KFC proudly presents the kid fryer meal where our fillets are made out of kids. 😎 1 like = more kids in our fryer.
My pansexual son was asked to form a sentence with a word "Carry" on his zoom class earlier on today and he said "Pessi was carried by Iniesta and Neymar to his Mickey Mouse UCL". He received a standing ovation. Children are our hope and I'm proud of the education system!