Children jokes
What is never ordered in an orphanage?
A family sized pizza!
I tell orphan jokes like there ain’t no parents around.
What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is plastic and dangerous for children to play with, the other is used for carrying groceries.
Like this if you are in foster care.
What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby?
I don't jizz on an apple before eating it.
Memes
How do pedophiles follow the law?
They drive it slow in the school zone.
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.
What do a plastic bag and Jeffery Epstein have in common?
They're both dangerous to children.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
Because he comes once a year.
I live next to a kindergarten, and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it's me who has a drill around little children.
What do babies and explosives have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
The world has turned upside down. Orphans are now being homeschooled.
1, 2 buckle my shoe.
3, 4 buckle some more.
5, 6 Nike kicks.
1, 2 buckle my shoe.
3, 4 open the door.
5, 6 Nike kicks.
Why don’t orphans live in villages?
Because they will get abandoned.
How are orphans like broken pencils?
Neither of them have points.
What is the difference between a dog pound and an orphanage?
In a dog pound, people actually want them.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Why can't orphans have cookies?
They are home made.
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button!
What do orphans and fathers have in common? They both don't have families to go to.