Children jokes
What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?
Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.
Why is "Frozen" a good movie for orphans?
Because they know how to "let it go" when their parents went.
Why can’t Helen Keller have kids?
Answer: She’s dead.
What is never ordered in an orphanage?
A family sized pizza!
I tell orphan jokes like there ain’t no parents around.
Memes
What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is plastic and dangerous for children to play with, the other is used for carrying groceries.
Like this if you are in foster care.
What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby?
I don't jizz on an apple before eating it.
How do pedophiles follow the law?
They drive it slow in the school zone.
What's the difference between a shopping bag and Michael Jackson?
One is white, made of plastic, and dangerous for children. The other is for groceries.
What do a plastic bag and Jeffery Epstein have in common?
They're both dangerous to children.
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
Because he comes once a year.
I live next to a kindergarten, and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it's me who has a drill around little children.
What do babies and explosives have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
The world has turned upside down. Orphans are now being homeschooled.
1, 2 buckle my shoe.
3, 4 buckle some more.
5, 6 Nike kicks.
1, 2 buckle my shoe.
3, 4 open the door.
5, 6 Nike kicks.
Why don’t orphans live in villages?
Because they will get abandoned.
How are orphans like broken pencils?
Neither of them have points.
What is the difference between a dog pound and an orphanage?
In a dog pound, people actually want them.