Why can't orphans watch PG movies? Because they are parental guidance.
What do orphans, parents, and a ball have in common?
If you throw them, they both will never come back.
Kid: I don't want to go to the movies.
Mom: Shut your mouth and clean my room!
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6-year-olds?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Well, I'm off to the orphanage to tell "yo mama" jokes.
Q: What did the little girl say to her leper daddy?
A: "Oops, I got your nose!"
Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.
What Kind of Hardware store can't orphans go into?
Home Depot.
A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.
To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."
He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.
Why can't orphans play online games? Because they don't have parents to sign them up.
Why can't orphans go on school field trips?
Parent Signature: _______
How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."
Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?
None, because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap til' their parents get home.
What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.
What's yellow all over and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
A father is talking to his three kids.
Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.
Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?
Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.
Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!
Dad: Oh hey, Brick.
"Emmy and Thomas sitting in a tree."
