Child

Child jokes

Orphan

I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."

Tip

Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.

Benefit

Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.

Baby

Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.

Orphan

What's the difference between an orphan and a slice of pizza?

Nothing, I eat both of them.

Orphan

What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple gets picked.

Forest

A man was taking a child into a dark forest.

The child said, "I'm scared!"

The man replied, "Well I have to walk home alone."

Abortion

Men play video games to let their inner child out, while women do abortions.