Kid: I want to be Batman.
Okay, when he gets home, his parents are dead.
I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."
What is the difference between Juice Wrld and an orphan?
One is loved by all.
Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?
So we can think about a solution in silence.
I gave an orphan an iPhone XR because it does not have a home button.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t go home.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
What’s an orphan's favorite beer?
Foster's.
What's the difference between an orphan and a slice of pizza?
Nothing, I eat both of them.
Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Go to an orphanage and tell a kid his parents came back.
I kicked the shit out of Little Johnny.
Why can’t an orphan make a joke?
Dad jokes.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
An orphan came out of the closet to their parents as gay. Oh wait...
What did Sally get for her birthday? A football!
Only joking; she hasn't opened the box yet.
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"
What’s the difference between a baby and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator doesn’t squeal when I put my meat in it.
SOOOO my sister said her first bad word yesterday. "Shit." My mum was like, "What did you just say, child?"
Sister: "I said the cat shits inside like the dog shi- uh oh......"
Now I've avoided this stuff by making my own word: Sugarplum. Sugarplum = shit...
My sister made some pie, and it tasted horribly... so I said this.... "This pie is very sugarplum-y." She said, "What do you mean by that?" I said, "It tastes like sugarplums..."
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends, how hard can you throw them?
