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Child Jokes
Kid: "Mom, what happened to Jim?"
Mom: "He got inside a white van."
Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.
I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.
What's the difference between a white kid and a computer?
The child has no trouble shooting.
Little Johnny was getting beaten up by two kids, so I came and helped.
He won’t stand against the three of us!
What TV shows do orphans not like?
"Family Guy."
Can an orphan go to a family restaurant?
What is a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child’s body.
What do an abortion and a baby have in common?
The mom doesn't want either of them.
A dark joke is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.
I AM SO SORRY!
A young boy is in a tepee with his father, just after his sister's naming ceremony. Curious to how it works, he asks his dad, "Father, why is my sister's name Tulip?"
His father responds, "That is her name because a tulip was the first thing she saw when she first opened her eyes."
The boy was still puzzled. "What about big brother Sparrow?"
"His name is Sparrow because a sparrow landed on him when he first began walking."
The boy finally asked how he was named. "Well, we decided to name you the same way as your sister."
The boy nods with understanding, "Thank you, father."
"No problem, Two-Dogs-Fucking."
Ever heard of a reverse exorcism? It’s when the Devil tells the priest to exit the child’s body.
What's the difference between me and a rapist?
He forced her, while I convinced her with a candy.
She was just 7 years old.
Why can’t you give an orphan homework?
Because they don’t have a home to do it in.
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
When the school lets you near children again...
If I saw a homosexual or transsexual man do so much as TOUCH my child, he would be dead, zombified, and castrated by the end of the day.
Protect your young'uns from these degenerate freaks and live off the grid so they have no bearing on your life.
How do you tell a child they have cancer?
With a smile on your face.
So an orphan was crying in a corner in the dark. Then a man came over and asked, "Why are you crying?"
Then said, "Do you want me to get your parents?"
What did the girls on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
"Could you move? Your sun is in my son."
