Child jokes
How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.
Do you know why orphans don't have parents?
Because no one raised you.
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"
If you leave your small children inside a shower with Kelly Clarkson, you're a filthy parent.
What is an orphan's favorite flower? Self-raising. 😂
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
How hard can you throw them!
I told kids to make a family tree. God, I love working at the orphanages.
When I go to bed, my mother comes in ten minutes later with a brick and beats me with it.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?
You can’t abuse an alligator.
Roses are red, violets are blue, The children are fast, But Elmo is faster, Bow down to your master!
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Neither can see their parents.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because it can't find home!
Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep them in my basement until it’s time to hang them from a tree.
When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer…
How to make an orphan's hand bleed? By making them clap until their parents come back.
What do a plastic bag and Jeffery Epstein have in common?
They're both dangerous to children.
Why does an orphan play soccer?
Because it's the only love they get.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it actually comes back.