Child jokes
Who is the first person an orphan sees? The doctor.
So, this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well, the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road, he starts speeding. Eventually, he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, "Is my wife okay? She was carrying my child." The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes, "APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage."
What do birds and children have in common?
If you shoot them, they die.
OK, so Kenya and Kariah are both orphans that hate orphan jokes, so how about we make a joke out of them!
What makes a child an orphan?
Their parents left them for good. :D
Why are orphanages like dogs?
Because they get adopted.
Why was Kobe a good father?
He took his daughter with him.
I keep getting these letters from this little girl every year on Father's Day. I told the orphanage to stop letting her send these.
Yo mama so stupid she threw a Mother's Day party at an orphanage.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come back.
Little Johnny was late to class. The teacher asked him where he was. Little Johnny said, "I was on top of Marry Hill." Then a kid comes late to class and also said he was on Marry Hill. Then a little girl that's about 4 or 5 comes in. The teacher asks, "Who are you?" She said, "I'M MARRY HILL!"
I asked a kid why he was so blue.
Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.
What’s the difference between a baby and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator doesn’t squeal when I put my meat in it.
What’s a depressed kid’s favorite game? Hangman.
I got an orphan an iPhone 6. I told him to press the home button. He has been doing it all day.
Many years of sex in the dark.
The wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick!"
The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch!"
Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"
Sometimes I have this incredible urge to grab a child from school and yell, "I'm you from the future!"
Why cant asian parents have a white child? Cuz 2 wongs dont make a white
For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.