Child jokes
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.
What does an orphan have that a homeless person doesn’t?
A home, but what does a homeless person have that orphans don’t?
A parent.
What do an abortion and a baby have in common?
The mom doesn't want either of them.
What is yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
Why is a boomerang an orphan's favorite toy? Because it actually comes back.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't run home.
Two priests are pulled over by the police. One priest asks the cop what the reason for pulling them over is. The cop says, "We are looking for two child molesters." The priest look at each other and tell the cop they'll do it.
How are an emo kid and a hanging child the same?
Depends on who's hanging.
A child asks his teacher to go to the toilet.
"Before you go, recite the alphabet," the teacher says.
"a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z"
"Good, but where's the p?"
"Running down my leg."
DAD: I'm bringing your toys to the orphanage.
SON: Why?
DAD: You're going to need them.
What's worse than 100 dead babies in a skip?
The one that's still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out.
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
Why was Timmy sad? Because his dad stapled a frog to his forehead.
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
A cop pulls two Arabian men over, walks up to their window, and says, "We are looking for two child molesters!"
Now after a short pause, the two men look at each other, then back at the officer and say, "We'll do it!"
Mom: Let's have an adoption party!
Kid: *cries*
Mom: What's wrong?
Kid: I'M ADOPTED????
I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.
Oh, I just love talking to orphans.
I was walking past an orphan and I said, "Just go home."
What do you do when an orphan is taking a photo?
Yell "FAMILY PICTURES!"
What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?
Halloween. Free delivery!