What is it about a beard and glasses that children find so sexy?
I don't like the term "kidnapping." I prefer "surprise adoption."
Okay not a depression joke but... what’s worse than 10 babies in 1 bucket?
1 baby in 10 buckets.
Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.
He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.
Q. There were two sisters. One was having twins and asked her sister to help name the children. If one was named Deniece, what was the other named?
A. Denephew.
Mom: Can I tell you a joke?
Kid: Sure.
Mom: Knock knock.
Kid: Who's there?
Mom: Not yo.
Kid: Not yo who?
Mom: Not yo father.
Kid: Not yo husband either.
My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
What's worse than a baby in a dumpster?
A baby in two dumpsters.
What’s an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
If you hit a child, that's child abuse.
If you hit a family member, that's abuse.
If you kill either, it's murder for some reason.
If it's a whole family, it's genocide for another reason.
What do you call an orphan home alone?
A family reunion.
A woman is in the hospital giving birth. The doctor comes up to her afterwards.
Dr: "I'm sorry, I have good news and bad news."
Woman: "What's the bad news?"
Dr: "Your baby is Ginger!"
Woman: "Ok, so what's the good news?"
Dr: "It's dead!"
Kid: "Mom, what happened to Jim?"
Mom: "He got inside a white van."
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Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can never find home.
When you see an "Autistic child zone" sign and say, "Oh! That wasn't a dog."
What is the difference between artificial vanilla and Marjorie Taylor Greene's children?
Artificial vanilla comes from a beaver's asshole, the children from an asshole's beaver.
What’s the difference between a parentless child and someone who is fond of unprocessed metals?
One is an orphan, and the other is an ore fan.
