Child jokes
The orphan had to earn money because he/she didn't have parents to give him/her an allowance.
Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.
I bet when your mom first saw you, she said, "Oh my god, this ain't my child. My child would look amazing."
My mum found a chest that was wet, and it had a child in it. She asked me what it was for. I said I put kids in it and chuck it in a river until they are dead.
When my son was little, he loved to draw. Although he would always rip up the paper whenever there was one little slip up. Too bad he became a tattoo artist.....
Girl 1: Dad, why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because a rose landed on your head.
Girl 2: Hey, Dad, why is my name Daisy?
Dad: Because a daisy landed on your head.
Boy: Hitddvjkyrefbhhhrurrrr!
Dad: Oh, hey Brick!
Do you guys know what KFC stands for? It stands for kidnapping foster children.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends on how hard you throw them.
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
Seeing one of her students making faces at others in the playground, Mrs. Matthews stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that."
The student looked up and replied, "Well, you can’t say you weren’t warned, Mrs. Matthews!"
What story does an orphan always get kicked out of? Home Depot.
What are two plus sides to being an orphan?
1. All your snacks are family sized.
2. No one can make jokes about your mama.
What’s an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
Did you know penguins can actually fly if thrown hard enough... Just like children.
What do priests give children?
Syphilis.
What’s the similarity between a penis and a lollipop?
Kids can take both.
On April Fool's, go to an orphanage and tell them that their parents are here to pick them up.
Lucas is a baby, a little girl, ooo!
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
How do Chinese people name their children?
They drop a tin can down a flight of stairs and call them the sound that's made.