Child jokes
There once was a woman who had 10 kids. Their names were:
Tenth, Twenty, Thirty, Forty, Fifty, Sixty, Seventy, Eighty, Ninety, and One Hundred.
Everyone but Ninety died. She also had 10 kids.
These 10 kids got a dog without Ninety knowing. They had him for 2 years until he got hit by a car.
Only Ninety's kids know about this.
Why do orphans rob banks?
Because they wanna feel wanted.
What did the make-a-wish kid say when the Avengers turn up without Tony Stark?
"We are in the endgame now!"
What is Michael Jackson's favorite thing to eat from? The children's menu.
I saw an orphan and I said, "Yo."
He said, "What do you want?"
I said, "To be your new father."
"Really??!" the orphan said.
Me: Lol, no.
Orphan *Jumps into street*
How many kids does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them. 😂😂😂😂
If you ever get mad, just hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
I molested a child today, and it felt quite lovely on my penis! 👍
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.
Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.
What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands.
Why do orphans go to prison?
Because that's their only home.
Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?
A: Wave at him.
What’s worse than three babies in one garbage can?
One baby in three garbage cans.
Me and my friends jumped some orphans. Who will they tell? Their parents?
Why doesn’t Joe Biden visit children with cancer in hospitals?
Because he can’t sniff their hair.
Child: Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodnight Grandma. Goodbye Grandpa!
Dad: Wait, why are you saying that?
Child: I just felt like it.
The next day, the Grandpa is dead.
Dad: That's just a VERY scary coincidence.
Child: Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodbye Grandma.
Dad: Wait, why are you saying that?
Child: I just felt like it.
The next day, the Grandma is dead.
Dad: That's just a VERY scary coincidence.
Child: Goodnight Mommy, Goodbye Daddy!
Dad: Oh no. If I survive until tomorrow, everything will be okay!
Survives until tomorrow.
Dad: Whew! That was nice! *Goes to house*
Mom: Honey! I was so worried about you! The mailman just dropped dead on our porch!
(If you don't get it, the mailman is the biological father)
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
What has 30 legs but can't swim?
A bus full of children!
So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”