Child jokes
Kids are like a box of chocolates, they taste so good and you never know what you are going to get.
What do orphans have in common with mute children?
They can't talk to their parents.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't make a home run.
A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."
I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. đ
What's black and yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of orphans.
What is it about a beard and glasses that children find so sexy?
I got my little girl a hand sewing kit for her birthday and she cried. I didn't understand why until I realized that she had no hands to sew with.
My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.
What's worse than a baby in a dumpster?
A baby in two dumpsters.
Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.
He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.
Mom: Can I tell you a joke?
Kid: Sure.
Mom: Knock knock.
Kid: Who's there?
Mom: Not yo.
Kid: Not yo who?
Mom: Not yo father.
Kid: Not yo husband either.
What do you call an orphan home alone?
A family reunion.
I don't like the term "kidnapping." I prefer "surprise adoption."
Whatâs an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
Okay not a depression joke but... whatâs worse than 10 babies in 1 bucket?
1 baby in 10 buckets.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Whatâs the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
Q. There were two sisters. One was having twins and asked her sister to help name the children. If one was named Deniece, what was the other named?
A. Denephew.
What's the worst place to teach an orphan? Homeschool.