Child jokes
What do orphans have in common with mute children?
They can't talk to their parents.
What's the difference between me and a rapist?
He forced her, while I convinced her with a candy.
She was just 7 years old.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't make a home run.
What's black and yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of orphans.
What is it about a beard and glasses that children find so sexy?
Abortion is a difficult topic for me.
On one hand I support it because it kills children.
On the other hand, it gives women a choice.
Q. There were two sisters. One was having twins and asked her sister to help name the children. If one was named Deniece, what was the other named?
A. Denephew.
Okay not a depression joke but... what’s worse than 10 babies in 1 bucket?
1 baby in 10 buckets.
What's worse than a baby in a dumpster?
A baby in two dumpsters.
Mom: Can I tell you a joke?
Kid: Sure.
Mom: Knock knock.
Kid: Who's there?
Mom: Not yo.
Kid: Not yo who?
Mom: Not yo father.
Kid: Not yo husband either.
My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.
Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.
He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.
Muslim child to his mother: "Mom, why is my backpack so heavy?"
Mom: "Allahu Akbar, my son, Allahu Akbar!"
What do you call an orphan home alone?
A family reunion.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What do 3-year-old boys say after going to confession?
"My bum hurts!"
What’s an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is plastic and dangerous for children to play with, the other is used for carrying groceries.
Where did little Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere.