Child jokes
What is it about a beard and glasses that children find so sexy?
I got my little girl a hand sewing kit for her birthday and she cried. I didn't understand why until I realized that she had no hands to sew with.
Abortion is a difficult topic for me.
On one hand I support it because it kills children.
On the other hand, it gives women a choice.
My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.
What's worse than a baby in a dumpster?
A baby in two dumpsters.
Mom: Can I tell you a joke?
Kid: Sure.
Mom: Knock knock.
Kid: Who's there?
Mom: Not yo.
Kid: Not yo who?
Mom: Not yo father.
Kid: Not yo husband either.
Muslim child to his mother: "Mom, why is my backpack so heavy?"
Mom: "Allahu Akbar, my son, Allahu Akbar!"
Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.
He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.
Q. There were two sisters. One was having twins and asked her sister to help name the children. If one was named Deniece, what was the other named?
A. Denephew.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What’s an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
What do you call an orphan home alone?
A family reunion.
I don't like the term "kidnapping." I prefer "surprise adoption."
Okay not a depression joke but... what’s worse than 10 babies in 1 bucket?
1 baby in 10 buckets.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.
I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.
Do you guys know what KFC stands for? It stands for kidnapping foster children.
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
I was walking past an orphan and I said, "Just go home."
Why do orphans go to prison?
Because that's their only home.