Child jokes

What is it about a beard and glasses that children find so sexy?

My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.

What's worse than a baby in a dumpster?

A baby in two dumpsters.

What do you call an orphan home alone?

A family reunion.

I don't like the term "kidnapping." I prefer "surprise adoption."

Okay not a depression joke but... what’s worse than 10 babies in 1 bucket?

1 baby in 10 buckets.

Mom: Can I tell you a joke?

Kid: Sure.

Mom: Knock knock.

Kid: Who's there?

Mom: Not yo.

Kid: Not yo who?

Mom: Not yo father.

Kid: Not yo husband either.

What’s an orphan's favorite movie?

"Home Alone."

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.

He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

One of them gets picked.

Q. There were two sisters. One was having twins and asked her sister to help name the children. If one was named Deniece, what was the other named?

A. Denephew.

Abortion is a difficult topic for me.

On one hand I support it because it kills children.

On the other hand, it gives women a choice.

Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.

I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.

Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.

l li

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Kid: "Mom, what happened to Jim?"

Mom: "He got inside a white van."

Why can't an orphan ever be a criminal?

Because he isn't wanted.

Do you guys know what KFC stands for? It stands for kidnapping foster children.

I was walking past an orphan and I said, "Just go home."