Child jokes
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?
I take my boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
What type of cookie has an orphan never had? Home made cookies ;)
What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."
🎆 New Year's Eve
Lil Johnny👦: "Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight!"
Mom👱🏻♀️: "Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?"
Dad👨🏻🦰: "Son, if you don't leave, it'll bang on your head!"
How are apples and orphans different?
Apples get picked.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.
Little Johnny went up to his mom and said: "Can I have some milk?"
He waited for three hours to get an answer.
His mom finally said: "No, your dad still isn't back with it."
When you get mad, just punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their mom?
Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.
Why are most dark jokes about orphans?
They can't complain to their parents.
Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!
You gotta believe me!
Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.
If an orphan takes a photo... Well done! It's a family photo!
A child is determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”
What Spider-Man movie does an orphan like? Homecoming.
A woman is in the hospital giving birth. The doctor comes up to her afterwards.
Dr: "I'm sorry, I have good news and bad news."
Woman: "What's the bad news?"
Dr: "Your baby is Ginger!"
Woman: "Ok, so what's the good news?"
Dr: "It's dead!"
Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?
So we can think about a solution in silence.
Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?
Son: Ok dad.
AFTER TEST
Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?
Son: Son?
Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphans?
Because the joke needs parental guidance.