Child jokes
A child's parents once lived in Chicago.
I wonder why he's in an orphanage now.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
Went to school today, had to yell at my friend that he wasn't on the clock.
He continued to swing on the pole in front of children.
After 12, it's lunch. 😂
Why can't a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?
Their focus is always off.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One's actually picked.
What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?
My big green pedo machine.
My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.
If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?
A: Wave at him.
Why can’t you kidnap an orphan?
Because you can’t steal what was never wanted in the first place.
I asked a child where their parents were. They started to cry. I laughed and walked out of an orphanage.
How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?
Power off his chair.
If an orphan took a photo, what would it be considered?
Not a family photo.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home looks like.
What's the difference between putting a baby and a pizza in an oven?
The pizza doesn't scream in the oven.
This kid yelled "Jenga" when we were watching a 9/11 documentary.
I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."
What did the orphan say to his father?
Nothing, he doesn't have one.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Girl 1: Dad, why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because a rose landed on your head.
Girl 2: Hey, Dad, why is my name Daisy?
Dad: Because a daisy landed on your head.
Boy: Hitddvjkyrefbhhhrurrrr!
Dad: Oh, hey Brick!