Child jokes
What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)
Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.
You know a piranha can devour a small child in 30 seconds. Anyway, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
Why can’t orphanage kids play baseball?
Cause they don’t know where home is.
Mom: Daddy, stop!
Me: No!
Mom: Ok, I just wanted you to do it like your father.
ahhhhhh
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?
You can’t abuse an alligator.
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?
So we can think about a solution in silence.
Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?
Son: Ok dad.
AFTER TEST
Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?
Son: Son?
What's an orphan's least favorite film? Family Guy.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?
I take my boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
What type of cookie has an orphan never had? Home made cookies ;)
🎆 New Year's Eve
Lil Johnny👦: "Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight!"
Mom👱🏻♀️: "Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?"
Dad👨🏻🦰: "Son, if you don't leave, it'll bang on your head!"
What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."
I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.
Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphans?
Because the joke needs parental guidance.
What is an orphanage's favorite Roblox game?
"Adopt Me."
Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.
Why are most dark jokes about orphans?
They can't complain to their parents.