Child jokes

Sonic says: "If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"

So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.

A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. 💀

What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?

They both get turned on by children.

Last night, I burned an orphanage. There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?"

How do you make an adopted kid bleed? ... Tell him to clap until his parents come back.

Boy: "Hey mom, can we have ice cream?"

Orphan: "What's a mom?"

What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? Stopping it with a cricket bat.

A man sees a small boy begging for money. He walks up to him and asks him if he is an orphan.

The boy asks, "What gave me away?"

The man responds, "Your parents."

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with you parents soon." He said, "My parents died." I said, "I know...." I went for the cliffs.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You make them clap until they go home.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

To finally get his milk.

What's a child abuser's favorite song?

"Just Beat It!"

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna." Jack undressed, and she pulled up her dress so they could have some fun. But stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends on how hard you throw them.

If you ever get mad, just hit an orphan.

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.

Why did the orphan go to church?

To hear some "foster" parenting advice.

How do terrorists feed their children?

"Here comes the aeroplane!"

"And here comes the second one!"

What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.

What do boobs and toys have in common?

They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.