Child jokes
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
Sonic says: "If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"
How do you make an adopted kid bleed? ... Tell him to clap until his parents come back.
Last night, I burned an orphanage. There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?"
Boy: "Hey mom, can we have ice cream?"
Orphan: "What's a mom?"
What flour do you give an orphan?
Self-raising.
Why do orphans play a lot of tennis?
Cause that's the only way they get love.
No, it's not just a crotch grab. Jacko was jacking it on stage when he saw a 6-year-old boy in the front row.
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with you parents soon." He said, "My parents died." I said, "I know...." I went for the cliffs.
If you ever get mad, just hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To finally get his milk.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna." Jack undressed, and she pulled up her dress so they could have some fun. But stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
What's a child abuser's favorite song?
"Just Beat It!"
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You make them clap until they go home.
What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends on how hard you throw them.
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
It's not like they'll tell their parents.
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
Why did the orphan go to church?
To hear some "foster" parenting advice.
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"