Child jokes
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were.
Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What is yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What do you call an epileptic kid eating fruits?
A blender.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?
I take my boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell 'em to clap until their parents come home.
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
What is the difference between an orphan and Pikachu?
"Pikachu, I choose you!"
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Tell an orphan: if you got no parents, clap your hands.
Why did the priest go to the clothing sale at Walmart?
He heard that little boy's pants were half off.
An orphan is like marriage. The kid is always the reason for divorce. The kid is always the reason for his parents leaving him.
I feel sad for orphans. They can't watch Star Wars because it's parental guidance.
Me: I asked an orphan where his parents were. I also said that I promised to take him to them.
Orphan: They're dead.
Me: A promise made is a promise kept.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come home.
Why couldn't the Orphan play baseball?
Because he couldn't find home!
Everyone likes orphans but their parents.
How do you make an adopted kid bleed? ... Tell him to clap until his parents come back.
How to make an orphan's hand bleed? By making them clap until their parents come back.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
He couldn't find home.
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Home Alone.