What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? Stopping it with a cricket bat.
And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.
What starts with M and ends with arriage?
Miscarriage. Now we all know that joke never gets old, and you know what?
Neither does the child.
And to the parents of the lost boy named Timmy, we have found him, and now is your chance to make your escape. He really is a little shit, isn't he?
Children in the dark make mistakes.
Mistakes in the dark make children.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Orphan
Child: Mom, someone told me you talk like an owl.
Teacher: Who?
Child: Oh, it is true, you do talk like an owl!
Yo people!
Little Johnny's actually dead!
BRAKING NEWS!
Little Johnny's dead!
What is an orphan's least favorite TV show?
Family Feud.
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
Little Johnny died.
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says, "Hey dad! Whatcha doin'?"
His father says, "I'm filling your mom's tank."
Johnny says, "Oh yeah, well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because the milk man filled her up this morning."
A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.
The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car," said the little boy.
The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl.
A few seconds later, the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?"
"Sure," said the little boy.
The little boy's mother was downstairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there, she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said.
"Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."
Why couldn't the orphanage win the baseball game?
Answer: They couldn't find home base.
Little Johnny's mom is taking a shower. Little Johnny walks in and asks, "What is that in between your legs?" Mommy says, "That is my keyhole." The next day, Little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and Little Johnny asks, "What is that in between your legs?" Daddy says, "That is my key." The next day Little Johnny says to his dad, "Looks like the neighbor has the key to Mommy's keyhole too."
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
An orphan goes up to someone. The guy says, "Where are your parents?"
The orphan says, "Why do you think I'm wearing ripped pyjamas?"
