New Child Jokes - Page 32 - Worst Jokes Ever

Ukraine be like dead children...

RUSSIA BE LIKE DEAD GENERALS!

When the card declines on child insurance.

What is the difference between a normal kid and an orphan?

A normal kid has a family.

I was raised as an only child.

Which really annoyed my twin sister.

Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles. His teacher asked, "Three birds were sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied, "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said, "No, but I like the way you think!"

Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said, "Little Johnny!" He replied, "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"

How are apples and orphans different?

Apples get picked.

Why did the orphan fall out of a tree?

They thought their parents would catch them.

What do you call an orphan with parents?

I don't know... what?

Kidnapped. :)

Children and your meat are actually quite similar.

At first you seem weirded out by spanking it, but later on you start to enjoy it.

Muslim child to his mother: "Mom, why is my backpack so heavy?"

Mom: "Allahu Akbar, my son, Allahu Akbar!"

Guess why a lot of orphans were in "Home Alone"? Because their family left them.

How is sports like regular life for orphans?

They don't get picked for either.

Orphans are just wannabe children. They want a family.

How many children can you fit in a box?

Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.

Sonic says if you're bored, go punch an orphan. I mean, what are they going to do, tell their parents?

What do orphans, parents, and trees have in common? They leafed.

What is the difference between a baby and a canoe?

I would never put a canoe in my garage.

Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, “Mommy, mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs, and my ball got away and into your closet. When I went to get it, Daddy came in with the lady next door, and they started hugging and kissing. The lady next door took off Daddy’s clothes, and Daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed. The lady next door got on top of Daddy and started...”.

The mother cuts him off and says, “Just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me.” A couple hours later, the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face, shouting, “I’m leaving you... Go ahead, Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier.” Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. “Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs, and my ball got away and into your closet. When I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door, and you both started hugging and kissing. The lady next door took off your clothes, and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed. The lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing Mom did with Uncle Joe last summer.”