Chest Jokes

i was digging a hole in my garden then i found a treasure chest i was so happy i went to tell my wife but then i remembered why i was digging a hole

What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?

A cutting board.

Don't tell me I haven't got balls. I just happen to wear mine on my chest, and I can guarantee they're a lot bigger than yours!

Why did the pumpkin man not go to the party? He had his hand stuck in a treasure chest.

Where would the next Formula race happen?

Answer: On your flat chest.

Roses are red, violets are blue, You're so flat we can play chess on your chest!

What is a terrorist's first move in chess?

C4.

Her chest was so flat felt gay while hugging her

My dad came over late at night. He was drunk. He started telling me how useless I was. Then I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and stabbed him in the chest 47 times.

Three minutes later, he died. Now I’m losing my mind and cutting myself.

Your chest is flatter than pre-Aristotle's concept of Earth.

my bother went missing 5 years ago he also supported TRUMP he is currently dead in my basement in a chest in a cupboard

have anyone seen my balls i cant find them on my chest hey! my balls are on your thing

My mum found a chest that was wet, and it had a child in it. She asked me what it was for. I said I put kids in it and chuck it in a river until they are dead.

My Countryhumans OC, Sahara, is the daughter of France and Soviet. When people ask why, I tell them it was the gendersnapped version of my parents making me. France (my dad) was drunk and Soviet (my mom) was being horny. Then they judge me, so I judge them with a knife to the chest 47 times.

You’re so lame, you don’t have a superpower!

"Yah, I do!"

Oh yeah? What is it?

"My diaphragm contracts and moves downwards into my chest cavity and my lungs expand!"

That’s breathing, Jim.

"NO IT’S NOT, JACOB, YOU CAN’T PROVE IT!"

One day, Little Johnny needs to use the bathroom. His mom is in there, so he went in to use it and asked his mom, "What is that between your legs?"

His mom told him that is her bush. Then the next day the same thing happened, but with his dad. He asked his dad, "What is that between his legs?" He said, "My snake."

The same thing happened one more time, except with his grandmother. Little Johnny asked grandma what is on her chest. She said, "My headlights."

One night, Little Johnny caught his parents doing something naughty. Then he said, "Grandma, grandma, turn on your headlights! Daddy's snake is trying to get into mommy's bush!"

i was digging in a garden once a found a chest full of gold i wanted to show my wife but then i thought why i was digging in the first place

Son: Dad, what are those two huge balloons on mummies chest? Dad: i don't see balloons, but i see boobs, i mean, yes balloons Son: Are you sure they're balloons yesterday i heard Uncle Frank trying to get a milk dispenser working

What did Bob the police officer say to his chest?

"You're under a vest."

When you are in the legendary chest in Fortnite and no golden scar rage.