Cheese jokes
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They gave her a cheese grater and told her it was a book.
I can't believe this!
Pizza is round and it comes in a square box, and you cut it into a triangle.
My proctologist used to be a photographer. He took x-rays and told me to bend over and say "cheese!"
Life with depression is like a cheeseburger.
It's not good without the cheese.
You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish.
Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
The early bird might get the worm...
But the second mouse gets the cheese.
Cheesiest jokes.
What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
Quarter pounder with cheese.
Penis, cheese, butt, cum.
What pizza 🍕 do you order for Christmas?
Cheeses Crust!
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
They are like pepperoni and cheese as a plane.
What kind of book does cheese read at a church?
The Hole-y Bible.
What did one mouse say to the other mouse when it tried to steal the cheese?
"That's nacho cheese!"
How do you organize a space party? You "planet" with some "cheddar" and "brie"-pare for launch!
Why was the cheese always so confident? Because it had such a "gouda" self-image.
What did the blind kid say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?
"This is the most violent book I’ve ever read."
Did you hear about that cheese factory that exploded in France?
There was nothing left but de Brie!
I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.
1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.
2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!
3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.
4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.
Last week was my blind friend's birthday. I thought I would give him something really good that he may need.
As I walk into his house and give him a cheese grater for a birthday present, he sets it next to him. As weeks pass, he comes up to me. He said, "That present that you gave me for my birthday was the most intense book I have ever read!"