Charity jokes
If prostitution had a tax-exempt status, and if an adult bookstore had a tax-exempt status because of a glory hole, churches would have to do something else to keep their tax-exempt status to avoid the risk of going out of business.
Boosterthon asks to raise up to $35,000.
I donate $35,000. I ask, "What's my prize?" Boosterthon worker says, "Here's a headband." Me: "I donated the goal, so is that it?" Boosterthon worker: "No, it's $35,000 per person." I pass out. Boosterthon worker goes back to work like it is a regular day.
I made a house for orphans and...
they had no clue how to use it.
I gave an orphan an iPhone XR because it does not have a home button.
Once I saw a girl crying and asked, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at orphanages.
I did a bungee jump for charity recently. It was called "spastics on elastics."
I decided to make a charity bungee jump for the local disabled. It's called "Spastics on Elastics."
What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?
They both got a 10% survival rate...
Welcome to Dave's Orphanage. "You make it, we take it."
A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel. "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions. You must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate, and you must never hold on to any beef." The Angel then disappeared.
The man did as was told and became generous and kind. As he emerged from the betting office with all his money, he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person each and every time.
He, however, couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what.
When he died, the Angel came back for him.
"But I'm undeserving; I can't come with you," he said.
"Yes, you can," replied the Angel, "you gave all your stake (steak) away."
In my free time, I like to help blind people.
Verb, not adjective.
Why did the crows form a charity?
Because it's all for good caws!
There are 4 people in a line. Three stand up and say "We are standing up for cancer," and then there's the one in the wheelchair.
Make a wish.
Kid: I don't want to go to Disney World, I just want to keep living my life.
Make a Wish Staff: Get the F*** out!
It isn't a real charity until India opens call centers, like they did with Africa.
Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they're all shellfish.
Why would you never donate to crabs?
Because they're shellfish!
Recent attempts to defund Special Olympics have organizers scrambling to come up with more corporate sponsorship... targeted companies include:
Kleenex
Depends
Bicycle Helmet manufacturers
Velcro Shoe manufacturers
Steven Hawkings Publishers
I take debt of 25,000 euro. I spend 20,000 in charity, and 5000 euro are left. I pay the debt of 2000 euro and I have to pay now 23,000 euro to bank, and 3000 euro I have in profit, 23,000 +3000 >> 26000 ;)
I'm so poor that I had to rob a food bank for a loaf of bread.