Charity

Charity Jokes

Event

I did a bungee jump for charity recently. It was called "spastics on elastics."

Disabled

I decided to make a charity bungee jump for the local disabled. It's called "Spastics on Elastics."

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  • Mosquito

    What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?

    They both got a 10% survival rate...

    Angel

    A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel. "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions. You must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate, and you must never hold on to any beef." The Angel then disappeared.

    The man did as was told and became generous and kind. As he emerged from the betting office with all his money, he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person each and every time.

    He, however, couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what.

    When he died, the Angel came back for him.

    "But I'm undeserving; I can't come with you," he said.

    "Yes, you can," replied the Angel, "you gave all your stake (steak) away."

    Crow

    Why did the crows form a charity?

    Because it's all for good caws!

    Cancer

    There are 4 people in a line. Three stand up and say "We are standing up for cancer," and then there's the one in the wheelchair.

    Wish

    Make a wish.

    Kid: I don't want to go to Disney World, I just want to keep living my life.

    Make a Wish Staff: Get the F*** out!

    Crab

    Why do crabs never give to charity?

    Because they're all shellfish.

    Crab

    Why would you never donate to crabs?

    Because they're shellfish!

    Olympics

    Recent attempts to defund Special Olympics have organizers scrambling to come up with more corporate sponsorship... targeted companies include:

    Kleenex

    Depends

    Bicycle Helmet manufacturers

    Velcro Shoe manufacturers

    Steven Hawkings Publishers

    Debt

    I take debt of 25,000 euro. I spend 20,000 in charity, and 5000 euro are left. I pay the debt of 2000 euro and I have to pay now 23,000 euro to bank, and 3000 euro I have in profit, 23,000 +3000 >> 26000 ;)

    Shotgun

    The other day, I donated my car keys, $1,000, and a passport to a homeless man.

    You could feel the happiness come from me after he holstered his suppressed shotgun.

    Shellfish

    "Have you ever heard of the snail that never gives charity?"

    "Yeah, he is so shellfish!"

    World hunger

    What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?

    Princess Diana couldn't stop both of them.