Charity jokes
The other day, I donated my car keys, $1,000, and a passport to a homeless man.
You could feel the happiness come from me after he holstered his suppressed shotgun.
Why don鈥檛 oysters give to charity?
Because they鈥檙e shellfish! 馃槀
"Have you ever heard of the snail that never gives charity?"
"Yeah, he is so shellfish!"
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Princess Diana couldn't stop both of them.
Y'know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"? No, it screeches.
Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You wouldn't believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.
What's the same about "Make a Wish Program" and "Dark Jokes"? They never get old.
The Make-A-Wish Foundation has gone too far. All of the Make-A-Wish kids asked for cancer to be gone, so they just gave the cancer to all of the Make-A-Wish kids.
Just watched an upsetting video. Please retweet. #Stop The Make-A-Wish Foundation.
What do chairs spend on the most?
Chair-ity.
What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to Disneyland, I wanna live longer."
I donated 100 dollars to a blind children鈥檚 charity. Too bad they won鈥檛 ever see a dime of it.
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn't have a homepage.
For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Meals on wheels.
I'm doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled.
It's called "spastics on elastics."
Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.
I now have $999,999.75.