Charity jokes

"Have you ever heard of the snail that never gives charity?"

"Yeah, he is so shellfish!"

What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?

Princess Diana couldn't stop both of them.

Y'know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"? No, it screeches.

Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You wouldn't believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.

What's the same about "Make a Wish Program" and "Dark Jokes"?

They never get old.

The Make-A-Wish Foundation has gone too far. All of the Make-A-Wish kids asked for cancer to be gone, so they just gave the cancer to all of the Make-A-Wish kids.

Just watched an upsetting video. Please retweet. #Stop The Make-A-Wish Foundation.

What do chairs spend on the most?

Chair-ity.

What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to Disneyland, I wanna live longer."

I donated 100 dollars to a blind children’s charity. Too bad they won’t ever see a dime of it.

I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn't have a homepage.

For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Meals on wheels.

I'm doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled.

It's called "spastics on elastics."

Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.

I now have $999,999.75.