Charge jokes

Why did the MOSFET go to jail?

It had a charge for battery.

I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.

I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.

Oh, don't worry, he's okay now.

But the vet charged me six quid.

What did the man who had sex with an Instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?

Driving under the influencer.

I have been charged, because I roasted a kid at a barbeque.

I bought a sweater and it started building up static electricity.

So I got another one free of charge.

Why can't an emo person be in charge of sky diving?

He won't deploy the parachute.

When you unplug the charger to charge your phone, but you realize it was plugged into your grandpa's life support:

When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 and 976 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone, and money falls out.

It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship, but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.

A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.

Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”

I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly, a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs.

Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.

If your wife dies of childbirth, can you press charges on the baby?

Stephen Hawking tried to charge his phone and unplugged his life support.

My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.

I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.

Do you know why an atom is positive? He kept his electrons.

Think like a proton--stay positive!

I charge 50 bucks a suck.

Why did the credit card go to jail?

'Cuz it was guilty as charged!