Celebrity jokes
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.
I would make a Paul Walker joke, but it would crash and burn.
What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.
On a scale of 1-10, how old was Michael Jackson’s last boyfriend?
What does Kim Kardashian and the ocean have in common?
They both have plastic in them.
Things to kids:
Dragapult: "Ooh, look! Some ammo."
A Good Parent: "My baby!"
Michael Jackson: (HeeHee)
What is Michael Jackson's favorite instrument? Little skin flutes.
Why can’t Michael Jackson get within 500 meters of a school?
Cause he’s dead.
Why was Michael Jackson so loved? He touched so many children in so many special ways.
John Lennon: "What a nice view."
John walked outside.
He got shot.
:skull:
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello on the other side.
There is this celebrity everybody thought was so down to earth. That was until he hung himself.
First of all, if a woman sues Bill Cosby for drugging and rape 50 years ago, and she could still remember it, it couldn't have been all bad.
On a hot summer's day, a famous celebrity tweeted, "It is a beautiful day, and I'm deciding which kid to have fun with today." To which the local priest replied, "I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today."
Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote: "Don't be dumb, make sure they're numb, and always use a condom!"
Today, I dreamt about giving head to Johnny Depp.
Then I woke up and realized that I forgot to roll my windows up when passing through the New Jersey Turnpike.
What do Phillip Adam and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
I find it bemusing that hardcore right-wingers are superfans of Johnny Depp, considering that he looks like a dangerous Mexican drug lord.
I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.
Birthdays are weird. We celebrate being one year closer to dying. And we celebrate it with friends and family, which is totally not how we'll die.
We're all gonna die alone, not surrounded by friends and family.