Celebrity jokes
A man walks into a bar, sits down, and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating, and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob. And nah, if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will."
What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.
What does Kim Kardashian and the ocean have in common?
They both have plastic in them.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello on the other side.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite instrument? Little skin flutes.
Memes
I am trying not to copy any one But. Meme time
Why can’t Michael Jackson get within 500 meters of a school?
Cause he’s dead.
Why was Michael Jackson so loved? He touched so many children in so many special ways.
There is this celebrity everybody thought was so down to earth. That was until he hung himself.
John Lennon: "What a nice view."
John walked outside.
He got shot.
:skull:
Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote: "Don't be dumb, make sure they're numb, and always use a condom!"
On a hot summer's day, a famous celebrity tweeted, "It is a beautiful day, and I'm deciding which kid to have fun with today." To which the local priest replied, "I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today."
On a scale of 1-10, how old was Michael Jackson’s last boyfriend?
First of all, if a woman sues Bill Cosby for drugging and rape 50 years ago, and she could still remember it, it couldn't have been all bad.
Today, I dreamt about giving head to Johnny Depp.
Then I woke up and realized that I forgot to roll my windows up when passing through the New Jersey Turnpike.
I find it bemusing that hardcore right-wingers are superfans of Johnny Depp, considering that he looks like a dangerous Mexican drug lord.
Birthdays are weird. We celebrate being one year closer to dying. And we celebrate it with friends and family, which is totally not how we'll die.
We're all gonna die alone, not surrounded by friends and family.
Why don't Chinese kids celebrate Christmas?
Because they make the toys.
Why are Michael Jackson and caviar so much in common?
They both come on little white crackers.
Things to kids:
Dragapult: "Ooh, look! Some ammo."
A Good Parent: "My baby!"
Michael Jackson: (HeeHee)
What does Michael Jackson like to drink? Tea-he-he.