Celebrity jokes
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit?
A DEPPression.
(If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke).
What's the difference between Carrie Underwood and a robot?
A robot can feign empathy.
Kelly Clarkson may be able to shed her weight [through pills], but she will never be able to shed the fact that she admitted herself that she molested her children when they were toddlers.
Why do bunnies like Bruno Mars? Because he got 24 carrots.
What was found under MJ's pillow after he died?
Billy's jeans.
Memes
Michael Jackson so white, I turned blind.
Things to kids:
Dragapult: "Ooh, look! Some ammo."
A Good Parent: "My baby!"
Michael Jackson: (HeeHee)
What does Michael Jackson like to drink? Tea-he-he.
How did Michael Jackson get away with it?
He's a smooth criminal.
I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.
How did Reese eat her cereal? - Witherspoon!
Why don't Chinese kids celebrate Christmas?
Because they make the toys.
After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest to take his Kanye Rest. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best. Then he’ll get Kanye Dressed on his Kanye Vest to go on a Kanye Quest. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest.
What's worse than ants in your pants? Michael Jackson.
How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw a light bulb?
Oh wait, Michael Jackson only screws little boys, my bad.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to take Snoop Dogg for a walk.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to put Vin Diesel in her gas tank.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to mop the floor with Taylor Swift.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to ring Kristen Bell.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to skim Dwayne Johnson across a lake.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You follow the Fresh prints.
Q: What do Burger King and Michael Jackson have in common?
A: They put meat on five-year-old buns.
Paul Walker's death was a tragedy, but at least he went out in a blaze of glory.
John Cena once insulted Chuck Norris. That's why we can't see him anymore.