Celebrity jokes
"FUCK FUCK FUCK MY CLOTHES CAUGHT THE FLAME OH MY GOD IT BURNS SO MUCH!"
Have you heard about the new movie with Stephen Hawking as the star? It's called "Unplugged."
What’s the difference between Kendrick Lamar and an orphan?
He has family ties.
Who remembers when Gwen was the only thing people talked about on this website?
Why did Bruce Jenner cross the road?
To see how the other side felt!
What did Michael Jackson say when he became a triangle? Tetraheehee!
Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?
Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.
I should name my dog Ariana Grande.
That way I could say that I fucked Ariana Grande.
This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.
If Stephen Hawking had a FIFA card, he would have 99 dribble.
Who am I rooting for during the Super Bowl? Easy. Taylor Swift.
"FUCK IT HURTS SO BAD PLEASE SEND AN AMBULANCE I CAN'T BREATHE (I am Paul Walker btw)"
Me: Hey, Mom? Why do we celebrate birthdays?
Mom: Because that's the day a new life was born, and people are born every day so every day is a special day.
My thoughts: And my friend wonders why I have depression...
I added Paul Walker on Xbox...
But he spends all his time on the dashboard.
You are able to travel to the anime world, believe me, Michael Jackson did it.
*Coughs roughly* Oh my God, it hurts so much. I can't see. It burns! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! *Weakly*
What’s black and sits on top of the stairs?
Christopher Reeves in a house fire.
If Dusty's dad from Home Alone 2 was in NASA, how come he is not famous?
How do you beat Lady Gaga at Texas hold’em?
Poker face.
What's the difference between Derek Boogaard and Kurt Cobain? Nothing, they were both fucked in the brain when they died.