Celebrity jokes

I was swimming in a pool on my vacation when a fan of mine approached me. He said he wanted an autograph and gave me a pen to sign it. I accidentally dropped the pen in the pool. Suddenly, Penaldo came out of NOWHERE and dove to save it. He said he always dives for pens.

I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.

What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?

"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"

Michael Jackson has done something no one has ever done before. I'm not talking about his record sales or tickets sold.

I'm talking about being born a black man and dying a white woman. Incredible!

What does Michael Jackson get high on? A little crack.

What was one phrase Michael Jackson said to a boy in his bed? Baby, be mine.

What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?

The Mikey Jackson club.

How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?

M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N

What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite poker hand?

Jacks and 5.

What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a dead pedophile? Nothing.

In memory of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as various places, is introducing the Jackson Dog. A 50 year old sausage between a 9 year old bun.

Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burns. The sun knows better.

Me: Now I know why Michael Jackson turned white.

The police: You finally figured it out.

What’s loud, red and goes at 200mph?

Paul Walker’s Porsche.

I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.

It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.

I wanted to play as Kobe Bryant on my gaming console, but the game kept crashing.

Imagine Michael Jackson having kids? Would they come out Black or white or plastic?

What's Pee-Wee Herman's favorite Michael Jackson song?

Beat It.

I'm sweating like Michael Jackson at a kindergarten.

What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?

I give a fuck if my computer crashes.