Celebrity jokes

What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?

Predator 2.

I was swimming in a pool on my vacation when a fan of mine approached me. He said he wanted an autograph and gave me a pen to sign it. I accidentally dropped the pen in the pool. Suddenly, Penaldo came out of NOWHERE and dove to save it. He said he always dives for pens.

I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.

What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?

The Mikey Jackson club.

How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?

M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N

What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite poker hand?

Jacks and 5.

What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.

What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?

"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"

Michael Jackson has done something no one has ever done before. I'm not talking about his record sales or tickets sold.

I'm talking about being born a black man and dying a white woman. Incredible!

What does Michael Jackson get high on? A little crack.

What was one phrase Michael Jackson said to a boy in his bed? Baby, be mine.

Paul's favorite car.

A Carrera GT.

Michael Jackson was on a boat with a bunch of children. The boat captain comes up to him and says, "Michael, we've come into some trouble and the boat is about to sink. We need to get off the boat right now." "But what about the children?" The captain said, "F*** them." Michael Jackson responded, "Is there enough time?"

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a dead pedophile? Nothing.

In memory of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as various places, is introducing the Jackson Dog. A 50 year old sausage between a 9 year old bun.

Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burns. The sun knows better.

I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.

It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.

What is long that Paul Walker can fit into his mouth? A long black tree.

I wanted to play as Kobe Bryant on my gaming console, but the game kept crashing.

Imagine Michael Jackson having kids? Would they come out Black or white or plastic?

What's Pee-Wee Herman's favorite Michael Jackson song?

Beat It.