What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?
CURRY in a hurry.
What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?
I'D HIT THAT!
I remember Grandpa's last words, "Oh, shit! It's in drive!"
One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."
I was in the car, and I got out and saw a deer walking sexy, and I'm like, "What the..."
New Teslas don't come with a new car smell; they come with an Elon Musk.
A car alarm went to the store.
Cashier: Hello.
Car Alarm: BMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMWAAAMAAHAMAMAMAMAAMHMMMMMMMMAMAMAMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAMMAMMMMMMMMMMM BBEEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BWAAAAMAAA!
Cashier: That will be 10 Dollars, sir.
Why did the leper fail his driving test?
He left his foot on the clutch.
Three doctors go into a room to get rid of a dead guy's body. They notice when they walk over that he has a boner. The first doctor decides, "Why not fuck him? He still has a boner left in him." The second says, "Well, he's dead, and I am a virgin." The third one says, "I can't, I'm on my period," and then says, "Okay, why not? He's already dead. It's not like he doesn't smell bad." After all that, they go to walk out, and the guy pops up and says, "Thanks for saving my life, pumping blood back into my body..."
A girl comes up to her dad and says, "Can I borrow the car tonight? I want to go to this party." Dad says, "If you give a head job..." The girl says, "You're my dad! How can you say that?" Dad says, "If you want the car..." The girl thinks, "Okay." She starts. Dad says, "That tastes like sh*t." Dad: "Yeah, your brother wanted the car this morning."
How does Stephen Hawking get clean?
He uses Tesco car wash.
What's the difference between a happy family and a car guy? Only one has a family.
What's the difference between a homeless person and a car?
Only one gets fuel.
A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.
A guy crashed his Ford SUV. He couldn't escape.
Mom, I’m pregnant.
Are you drunk? Why? Because you’re boy.
Why did the boy get run over?
Sally was driving.
Pinto?
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
A truck carrying Vicks VapoRub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours straight.
