Cant jokes
What's grey and can't fly?
A parking lot.
What Kind of Hardware store can't orphans go into?
Home Depot.
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run.
Why can’t orphans use computers?
Because they don’t have a homepage.
What did the bird say to the other bird?
Nothing, because birds can't talk.
Your mum is so smart, but she still can’t figure out why she had you.
Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can’t find home.
Why can’t you give an orphan homework?
Because they don’t have a home to do it in.
Why can’t dinosaurs cross the road?
Because they’re dead.
Why are so many people mean to orphans?
They can’t cry to their parents.
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex?
Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position.
Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?
Priest: Why?
Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.
Why can’t orphans be gay? Because they have no closet to come out of.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? She will let it go.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because North Korea's long-range missiles can't reach that far.
Why do orphans not play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
Why can’t orphans get in trouble?
Because there’s no one to give a phone call home to.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.