Cant jokes
Why can't Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
There was an oil spill in the ocean. Now the ocean can't see!
"Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!"
Tomorrow is Christmas, and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (Yes, this was inspired by a Fall Out Boy song.)
Wanna hear somethin' ironic? When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can't stop cutting.
I have a joke about doors, but you can't handle it!😂
Why can't Jesus judge gay people?
He got nailed right before he died.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel, and when all of a sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says, "Father, what is that?" He says, "This, sister, is the wand of life." The nun says, "Good, now go stick it in that camel's ass and let’s get the hell out of here!"
Guess why orphans can't be gay? Cause they have no one to call Daddy.
A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel. "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions. You must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate, and you must never hold on to any beef." The Angel then disappeared.
The man did as was told and became generous and kind. As he emerged from the betting office with all his money, he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person each and every time.
He, however, couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what.
When he died, the Angel came back for him.
"But I'm undeserving; I can't come with you," he said.
"Yes, you can," replied the Angel, "you gave all your stake (steak) away."
Why can't orphans play online games? Because they don't have parents to sign them up.
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Diana can't stop either.
Do you want to hear a cold joke?
Can't. It warmed up.
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener.
Why can't dinosaurs talk?
Because they are all dead.
Q: How do you know if an Asian broke into your house?
A: All your homework and the Rubik's cube you spent a year on and still can’t solve is solved. 🤓🤓🤓🤓
Why is an orphan so bad at baseball?
Because they can't make it to home.
You can't give an orphan homework.
Why do emos cut their arms? Because they can't cut the rope.